~Z.T.~ I approach my 4th consecutive Lollapalooza with the utmost excitement. This is my Christmas. Thom Yorke is my Santa Clause. The Raconteurs are his reindeer. The Black Keys are the cookies we lay out for him. OK that’s about all I know about Christmas.
I will be one of these bright, shiny people tomorrow. 95 degrees and sunny!

We kick off bright and early tomorrow with Bang Camaro at 11:30 a.m. Then it’s Holy Fu*k (I’ve been told they won’t pull a Fu*k Buttons on me. They’re actually good.)

Then the big boys. The Black Keys. The Raconteurs (Be still my heart) and Radiohead (The best concert I’ve ever seen.) And that’s just day one. I’ll be twittering your brains out all weekend, so look for those in the upper right and feel free to have my twitters sent to your phone so you can pretend we’re friends and I want to meet up with you at the shows. Wink.

p.s. I don’t know how to say this without sounding rude, but don’t call me this weekend. I won’t pick up. Text me. OK much love.

-A.S. Ryan Chamlin (pictured below) will always be the canteen lady’s son to anybody that went to Camp Chi for the last 10 years. It is good to see that there is life after Canteen Lady in Training for this guy. His band, Bill Smith, often gigs around Chicago. They also had a nice little day set at 10k this year.
I have known Jared Rabin (pictured below) for most of life and shared a bunk with him for seven years. It’s not like I’ve been wondering where he has been, but maybe you have. I’ve been seeing Jared play for years in all sorts of bands from Lucky Ned Peppers to the Hue. Every time I see the Hue I am more impressed than the last, and cannot wait to see where these guys are headed.

~Z.T.~

Bob Dylan. The Foo Fighters. Lil Wayne. Nine Inch Nails. BB King. Stone Temple Pilots. Kanye West. The Offspring. Wilco. Moby. Teibs?

I applied for a pass for Virgin Music Festival a few months ago and, to be honest, I was half-hoping I wouldn’t get it. These festivals have been the best thing that ever happened to me, but they’ve been rough on the bank account. I knew a weekend trip to Baltimore would be easily a $500 investment with airfare, hotel, car rental, etc.

So today I get an e-mail from the promoters saying you’re approved! Oooh, when is it? Late September, early October? Next weekend? WTF?! Why did they think that was ample time for me to plan a whole trip? Come on Virgin. Get your act together.

~Z.T.~ “What is that thing you do with your hands when you like music, that isn’t clapping?” my six year-old cousin asked with wonder in his eyes. “That’s the rock symbol,” I said, smiling.

We were listening to my newly acquired vinyl copy of The Raconteurs’ Consolers of the Lonely. The first vinyl he’d ever seen or heard. He called the needle a pin. He was fascinated by it.

I’ve been teaching the ways of rock for a few months now. I introduced him to Hendrix. He already loved Pink Floyd and the Chili Peppers. He thinks “Through the Fire and Flames” is the best song ever. He has a lot to learn.

So he decided we would have a dance contest. I’d bust out my best moves for the first half of each song and he’d try to out-do me for the second half. I pulled out some classics (that were new to him.) The Mick Jagger chicken dance, the windmill, the high leg kick, the back pedal saunter. He outdid me every song.

Dude tore his shirt off and swung it over his head, leaped up on the couch and flung himself off. Flashed the scary eyes and ran in place like his life depended on it.

Then I taught him the too much rock for one hand move. He struggled at first, holding up a thumb, but by “Many Shades of Black” he was rocking out in all the right spots. We made it through all four sides of the album. He refused to let me skip the slower songs. He even danced to “Carolina Drama.”

When I was shampooing his hair, (he stank like a rockstar) he asked me to give him a Mohawk. I tried to explain what a hipster wanna be he was with his Shmo-hawk, but I think I said too many words he couldn’t understand. Note: the child pictured at right is not my cousin. My cousin would kick this kid’s ass. The force is strong with this one. Now if I can only convince him to stop rooting for the Cardinals…

~Z.T.~ NEW UPDATED LIST 12:18 a.m. 7/30/08
When you start thinking about this category, the first thing you’ll realize is that the best bands are from England. (Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, The Who, The Stones, Oasis (just kidding) OK so my rock professors would consistently say The Beach Boys and Weiler just name dropped The Eagles. Thanks, but no thanks.

My nominees for Best American Rock Band Ever roughly in order of my preference/acknowledgment of importance

NEW LIST

1. The Talking Heads
2. Band Of Gypsy’s
3. Bob Dylan and The Band
4. The Grateful Dead
5. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
6. Zappa and the Mothers
7. CSNY
8. The Beach Boys
9. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
10. Phish
11. Nirvana
12. The Ramones
13. Pearl Jam
14. The Doors
15. Buddy Holly and the Crickets
16. Buffalo Springfield
17. Van Halen
18. The Velvet Underground
19. REM
20. Janis Joplin w/ Big Brother and the Holding Company
21. The White Stripes
22. Metallica
23. Red Hot Chili Peppers
24. Steely Dan
25. Allman Brothers Band
18,536. The Eagles

I think we have a solid 25 here…vote!

~Z.T.~ Twice this summer I’ve seen girls in bumble bee costumes when Blind Melon was performing. Presumably just so they could have the right costume when they played “No Rain.” Then at Pitchfork someone set off a firework when Animal Collective played “Fireworks.”

Someone held up a sign at Snoop Dogg asking for “G’s and Hustlas.” I’m getting curious. What’s the most dedication you’ve seen for a song at a concert? Can you top dressing up like a bumble bee and bringing low-powered explosives?

~Z.T.~ Detroit Lakes, Minn. OK, so this lovely lady has a camp site where people come and take off their undies. I really don’t know if she explained why or how this idea came about. I spent the whole conversation thinking “Don’t look at her chest. Look her in the eye. Smile and nod. Don’t look down.” I’m glad I didn’t look down. She was gross.

She looks pretty decent in this shot, but as you can see here, she really should have not followed this take off your underwear advice. Great googily moogily! The other three girls were hot! Who let this girl in the show?

-A.S. Detroit Lakes, MN
After last year’s Kinetix show at 10k, I was really excited to see what would happen this year. I know that the guys in the band left the stage last year feeling it was one of the biggest shows of their still young career. With their light show up and a crowd filling up after the Flaming Lips, Kinetix was ready to separate themselves from the rest of the bands that played at the OurStage Saloon.The hippie chick with incense standing next to me at the show marveled at how Blumenfeld could play two sets of keys at once. She must have missed him hitting his modulator with his foot.

As to not blow their load too early, Kinetix welcomed the growing crowd with a new tune, “Fighting For.” Opening with a new tune was a good move for a band playing at a festival for the third time. It gives returning fans something new to enjoy. “Talking to Faces” really kicked the party off though, and by the end of that song the Saloon was almost at capacity.
That’s a playing face that just screams too much rock for one hand.

“Afraid to Fall” included the breakdown from “Shout.” The whole band got to the ground as Eric Blumenfeld and Adam Lufkin quietly sang “a little bit softer now” and brought the energy level all the way back up as they got louder and louder. Crowd favorite “Spinning Out” included everyone singing the chorus as Blumenfeld swung his mic out over them.Lufkin getting a little bit softer now, a little bit softer now, a little bit softer now…

Lufkin drew a big laugh from the crowd when he thanked the Flaming Lips for opening up for them. The entire venue went nuts for “People Start Hoppin’” with everyone in the place jumping up and down for the whole song. A wailing guitar solo from Jordan Linit was a highlight from a rocking “Mr. Sinister.”The lights were a good effect as Blumenfeld banged away at his keys.

Kinetix closed their set off with a bang, covering “Killing in the Name Of.” The entire crowd went absolutely insane for the Rage Against the Machine cover. The show ended, but the crowd was cheering and pleading for more. With everyone still screaming, the stage MC got on and said that he thought they would need to put Kinetix on a bigger stage next year.

~Z.T.~ Detroit Lakes, Minn. Andy and I had an argument a few weeks ago about what’s more entertaining: Kanye’s Glow in the Dark tour or The Flaming Lips’ outer space tour. I’ve seen this Flaming Lips show five times now, but it still wows me. I hope to never see Kanye ever again. I said then, and I maintain now, that the Flaming Lips are infinitely better. And I’m SO F-ING MAD ABOUT IT I MIGHT BREAK MY F-ING MACBOOK AIR!!!Wayne Coyne comes out in a bubble, walking, crawling and tumbling over the audience. Kanye pretends to wake up to “Good Morning” on his set, which looks like it was cobbled together with leftovers from the set of Batman the ride at Great America.

Wayne tears through the electric “Free Radicals”, gets nasty on the Yoshimi single “Fight Test” and gets soft and whimsical for “Vein of Stars.” Kanye cries if he can’t perform in complete darkness and refuses to address the Bonnaroo crowd, even though he’s nearly two hours late.
Oh, that’s right. The Flaming Lips have naked women! The Glow in the dark tour … didn’t even glow in the dark!

I’m a banter snob. And Kanye’s banter is a self-righteous, ego-stroke fest with lines like “Kanye- you’re the biggest star in the universe.” Wayne was gentle, kind, loving. He noted that the weather was perfect and it felt like we were “floating in the womb.” He may have used the exact same Led Zeppelin “everyone get naked and dance” banter, but that’s just great banter! He also said “every show is like a party- like giving of love.” Kanye said “I ain’t had a woman in so long. I just need some pussy.” Uh huh. He plays his double axe in that cool three-piece suit he’d been wearing since at least 3 p.m. when we saw him backstage. Kanye just cradles a mic and prances around like a girl.The Flaming Lips are a delight to watch with a slew of costumed dancers (teletubbies this time,) toys like thousands of laser pointers, gigantic confetti-filled balloons, a gong, a dude in a skeleton costume and a fish-eye camera in Wayne’s mic. And did I mention the naked women?!

In summation, Flaming Lips: Always awesome. Kanye West: Squid brains.

-A.S. Detroit Lakes, MN
I was less than impressed with Slightly Stoopid, and felt just that for going to see them. Their bass was way too heavy and the horn section, which should have been a saving grace, was not great. Eric was right. It just sounds like they’re trying way too hard to be Sublime.
I have always been curious about hippies who bring toys and other things to dance with to a summer music festival. Are you on so many drugs that just dancing won’t suffice? If I had a hula hoop, I wouldn’t be able to even pay attention to the music. What about you girl spinning balls attached to string? Is Slightly Stoopid that lame that you can only get through it by doing cool twirling tricks with those balls?
The devil sticks may still be my personal favorite festival toy, but I saw some pretty cool hula hooping and ball twirling at 10k. Watching the hippies play at least made Slightly Stoopid go by faster. Especially since the button I requested that would skip them and Flaming Lips just so I could see Kinetix apparently doesn’t exist.