Monday, November 20, 2017

George Clinton Sounds Like Death

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Posted by admin On July - 25 - 2008

~Z.T.~ Detroit Lakes, Minn. I’m slapping a James Brown theory on George Clinton. In the two months since we saw him at Summer Camp, his voice has really gone downhill. Dude’s voice sounds like Ron Santo in the 12th inning of a west coast game. The kind of night where Pat says “Ronnie- get some sleep. We’ll see you tomorrow night.”
I’m putting the over-under on George Clinton’s death at 12/31 2009. Not to be morbid, but the grandfather of funk looks and sounds worse than James Brown when we saw him three months before his death. Though, to be fair, he’s looked pretty bad for a decade.

I knew he wouldn’t go on for an hour, so I represented at The Hue for the first forty five minutes. Even if George sounds like a death rattle, it’s hard to play those songs and not have me entertained. They played a mean “Dog Catcher” which Snoop has sampled to death, but still sounds funked out.

George bellowed “Shit. God Damn. Get off your ass and jam!” over and over until it sounded like someone had an egg beater turned on in his throat. Just like at Summer Camp, he seemed to get a kick out of saying “From the window to the wall. Till the sweat drip down my ball. Oh skeet skeet mother fucker. Oh skeet skeet god damn.” Get a new song, bro.
George just looks dazed as can be. When you look worse than a man in a diaper, you know you’ve got problems. photo by Rich Anderson

It was still fun to hear all-time classic funk lines like “Free your mind and your ass will follow. All that’s good is nasty,” and “Welcome to the mothership.”

There’s something unique about hearing your facebook “about me” chanted by a crowd of thousands. “Make my funk the p-funk. I want my funk funked up.” George’s voice was so bad, it’s time for a new about me.

2 Responses

  1. Sork Said,

    I will gladly take the over on this bet. Everyone knows that Dr. Funkenstein can only be slowed down with a Bop Gun. Whether this Gun can actually kill him is just empty speculation. Damn Tiebs, this man is from outerspace! Microbiologically speaking, his body and mind are on the One.

    Posted on July 28th, 2008 at 2:33 pm

  2. Teibs Said,

    hahahah yeah I gotta agree with you on the date. I thought it was Price is Right style, didn’t wanna go under. I should have taken into account his other worldly parts. He may leave this world in Dec. 2013 (the new line) but he will be alive in other worlds…funkin em up.

    Posted on July 30th, 2008 at 6:48 pm

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