~Z.T.~If we have three albums this spectacular every month, it’s going to be nearly impossible to make a top 10 at the end of the year. Umphrey’s finally put out the album Shore knew they had in them after seeing them 50+ times, Animal Collective made something so magnificent, it’ll be talked about for years and Franz Ferdinand will have you dancing all Spring. Thankfully, Franz and Umph are on the Festival circuit this summer. Can’t wait to see these live:
Animal Collective- Merriweather Post Pavilion

It’s so brilliant I’m scared to write about it for fear of not being able to capture what’s going on. Most Animal Collective is hard to get into the first few listens and this is no exception, but songs like “My Girls” and “Summer Clothes” grab a hold of you right away. The textured loops and harmonies swirl around in an collage I’m still trying to decipher. Put on this album. Lie down. Close your eyes. Only open them occasionally to stare at the artwork.

As my friend Carlye Wisel wrote in Daytrotter, “Something’s been building; the baby steps from pop to electronic have added up and opened minds to groups almost indistinguishable by category. And when the drums start building up and the chorus of “My Girls” hits, it’s a bona fide, unignorable release. This is it. We’ve reached it. And damn, it feels good.”
Umphrey’s McGee Mantis

~A.S.~When I interviewed Jake Cinninger last year, he told me to expect something between Rush and Yes. That provided some lofty expectations. After hearing their first single, “Made to Measure,” a couple weeks ago, I heard more Beatles than prog rock. The track has grown on me and the rest of the album delivers on Jake’s assessment. The almost 12 minute epic “Mantis” track is a musical feat that shows flashes of Rush, with each different section greeting you with new lyrics.

The aptly named “Turn and Run” is probably the biggest face melter on Mantis, and would certainly instill fear in today’s Jonas Brothers listening music fans. The album is full of four-part harmonies, none better than the Beach Boys homage at the end of “Spires.”

Franz Ferdinand Tonight

I’ve only listened to it once, but it was good enough to get me dancing at 12:30 p.m. by myself while hungover. I’ll let it speak for itself until I can give it enough listens to judge it fairly:

What albums are you loving from January?

~Z.T.~ He’s coming to get you. When we lost saw lead singer Tim Harrington at Pitchfork, he was being carried into the crowd in a garbage bin and calling himself Oscar. He smeared mudd on all the band members. He told of Native American Folklore. He wore red tights. It was so overwhelming, I forgot to listen.

What will he have in store for us tonight? Come join me at Epiphany: 201 South Ashland Avenue. We might even have an opinion on the music this time.

~Z.T.~ I try to read a couple rock biographies a month. They’re a mixed bag usually, but I am absolutely floored by “This Must Be The Place: The Adventures of Talking Heads in the 20th Century” by David Bowman.

I’m only 60 pages in, but keep finding myself captivated by sections like this:

“The climax of the summer of ‘74 was when four amateurs called the Ramones debuted at CBGB on August 16. David Byrne was there. This new group was more to his liking than Television. They were no opium dream. They were speed. No, they were airplane glue. Powerful cartoon pop. After the show he said, “Those guys were Del Shannon and the Beach Boys playing chainsaws.”

Get this book.

~Z.T.~ On Christmas I wrote that seeing Girl Talk was what I imagined Christmas morning to be like. I was wrong. Finding out Paul will be at Coachella is Christmas morning. I can’t sleep and I want to put a big plate of Cookies. I’m putting on McCartney, pulling an all-nighter and breaking this festival down day by day in order of who I’m most psyched to see. The number next to each artist is the grade I’m giving them out of 10 based on shows I’ve seen. Ex: Girl Talk is a nearly perfect live show, so he gets a 9.9 the Black Keys are always on the verge of being an (A) show, so they get an 8.9. Friday is head and shoulders above Saturday and Sunday for me.

Friday: Paul McCartney, Girl Talk (9.9) Black Keys (8.9) Franz Ferdinand, Morrissey, Ghostland Observatory (8.5), Los Campesinos!, Connor Oberst, Silversun Pickups, Ting Tings

Saturday: TV on The Radio (9.2), The Killers, MSTRKRFT, Amy Winehouse (8.3), Band of Horses (8.0), Fleet Foxes (8.5), Theivery Corporation (8.3), Michael Franti + Spearhead (5.7)Sunday: The Cure, Lupe Fiasco (9.1), Public Enemy (8.7), Peter Bjorn and John (7.2), Throbbing Gristle, My Bloody Valentine, Perry Ferrell (6.4)

For your viewing pleasure, “Maybe I’m Amazed.” Sweet Coachella dreams.

Who are you most excited to see? Do you disagree with my rankings?

-A.S. The final night of auditions. After this, we lose the ammo of pathetic people looking for their 15 minutes of fame. We’ll test the merit of our music critic skills in the first few episodes, and see which pony we’ll ride to the finals. Until then, American Idol is kicking off with a West Side Story Reference.
7:03 Adeola Adegoke quit her job because she’s so sure she’s going to Hollywood. Please tell me one of the judges makes a don’t quit your day job joke. Yes, Kara! Thank you! Side note, Randy just told told her singing wasn’t her “skeez.” Really, dog?
7:05 Simon felt bad enough to get on the phone with Ade’s boss and get her job back. Apparently she didn’t quit her job in true Half Baked fashion.
7:06 Jorge Nunez is singing in Spanish. Did he miss the memo that this is AMERICAN Idol? Does asking that make me racist? Oh well, he’s singing well in English too.
7:13 Jessica Baier won a beautiful baby contest when she was 8-months-old. Is anyone else thinking what happened? Oh, there’s that baby. She’s stomping like a toddler. ~Z.T.~ The only contest she should have won is “girl I’d most want to strangle.”
7:16 Melinda Camille is happy when she dances naked in her room. Of course Fox is dwelling on that topic.
7:17 Melinda wants to join a nudist colony and likes to dance naked. She told the judges she would be naked if all of them were. I’ll root for the naked chick, she can sing.
7:25 Jackie Tohn has me thinking she was terrible trying to sing Jason Mraz, but she stepped it up when Simon asked for a second song. I don’t know if we should take the shades on the window falling down as a bad omen, but she did get her golden ticket. ~Z.T.~ People bringing in guitars just annoy me. What’s the point? You don’t get to play it.
7:26 The Spanish speaking Puerto Rico montage is funnier than the fail clips they’re showing.7:33 The Crazy Rocker (above right) is screaming at an Ice Cream man, singing “YOU ARE SELLING ICE CREAM!” He’s calling himself the guyPod and has the prop for it too. This guy is terrible, but I’d watch his TV show. He’s singing “Circle of Life” with a lion hand puppet. Hilarious. ~Z.T.~ Any use of puppets should be automatic FAIL.
7:35 Norman Gentle? Simon told him thought he’d enjoy the critique that Norman Gentle told him hurt him in the nuts. Norman’s response? “You mean the way you like it when Seacrest does it?” ZING!
7:38 Nick Mitchell is Norman Gentle. He actually surprised when singing “Amazing Grace” as his second song. He was funny enough to get the judges to vote yes, except for for Simon. I guess the Seacrest joke ticked him off. ~Z.T.~ Simon loved that joke, but this freak show didn’t deserve the golden ticket. Even the girl he came with looked shocked.
7:43 Watching American Idol has inspired my mom to sing during the commercial break. It’s a rendition of “I’m So Excited” that would make the worst auditions contestants look like the next American Idol. ~Z.T.~ I think you have a wonderful voice, Randi. Your son is being a schmuck.
7:47 Monique Garcia Torre’s adorable little brother is winning over the judges. No way they can say no to her. Despite no’s from Randy and Kara, Simon proved his heart wasn’t made of stone. He took one look at Monique’s little brother and couldn’t say no. ~Z.T.~ I was watching with my 7 year-old cousin who was confused at the tie. I told him Simon’s vote counts extra. “Oh, like Simon says? I get it. Is his name really Simon?!” Adorable.
7:53 Alexis Cohen had glitter all over her face last time she auditioned and flipped the bird quite a few times. This time she’s doing Buddhist chants and wearing a dress. Her appearance may have changed, but she still can’t sing. Some other things don’t change either. She’s flicking off Simon again and got bleeped out. ~Z.T.~ She’s the odds on favorite to kill herself in front of Simon’s house.
7:56 Patricia Lewis Roman is the last contestant of auditions. The audition site is the same place her parents got married. Not quite a feel good story, but I don’t think American Idol would end auditions on a sour note. She’s singing very loudly not very well. Her second song, sung in Spanish, sounds much better. Golden ticket, despite Paula saying no. I didn’t even know that word was in her vocab. ~Z.T.~ Seacrest out.

-A.S. I’ve never been to the land of the Mormons, but my Uncle is from there. To be honest, the only thing I’ve ever heard about SLC from him is skiing and a gag Christmas gift in his family.
7:02 Is Randy Jackson really wearing leopard print kicks?7:04 Kicking off the night with a feel good story. No way do they nationalize a story about a guy with MS and set him up for failure. Even FOX isn’t that low. Water works too.
7:06 This Osmond can sing too. The judges played it a little harsher than I thought, but they gave him his golden ticket.
7:11 Tara Matthews, oh my god. GROSS. “You can’t judge people by the cover of their book.” This should be good. She tells the judges she has ESP pretty strong, but not strong enough to know what they’re thinking.
7:13 Painful. Hearing her is worse than seeing her … I think. Yuck.
7:17 That giant man in a bunny suit blew it for his friend. He didn’t sound as bad as walking in with a giant bearded bunny man made him look. Especially one he calls Grabbit. Creepy.
7:24 Seacrest just told the contestants to fight to win in front of the judges. They’re too nice to realize he’s messing with them.
7:25 Frankie Jordan is bizarro Amy Wineshouse. Like if she didn’t have a jacked up grill and a ridiculous blow-caine habbit. Similar sound too. Hook this chick up with the Dap Kings.
7:27 Megan is a cute single mom. FOX is telling us she’s a shoe in. Montage. It’s her birthday too. Jazz singer throwback, who the judges are really digging.
7:36 Austin Sisneros (right), 17-year-old class president, is auditioning to inspire peope. Ladies and gentleman, this seasons David Archuleta. Little girls will cry…almost as much as he is.
7:44 Crying montage. Too many for me to count. This should be a drinking game. It’s waterfall time. Literally.
7:47 Taylor Vaifuna looks like Jordin Sparks, and is 16. She’s singing “Joyful, Joyful.” Lauren Hill in Sister Act 2 would be proud.7:53 Rose Flack (above) is a 17 year old hippie chick. Both of her parents lost their lives. No way is American Idol gonna kick us in the junk to end the night and shoot this girl down.
7:56 Rose is rocking Carole King. She’s so heady.

~Z.T.~ It would have been the festival line-up of a lifetime. Instead it’s just a sham and we have yet another reason to hate Ryan Seacrest.

(I cut out bands I didn’t care about)

~Z.T.~ I was not impressed when the inital artist list came out for Langerado 2009 and still not sure I’m gonna go after these Langerado 2009 artist additions

Today they added: Modest Mouse, Gene Ween Band, Deerhunter and Albert Cross. The only one of those I’m really excited about is Gene Ween Band.

Below are all the bands worth caring about at Langerado:

The number next to their names is out of 10 and my grade based on the shows of theirs I’ve seen. The issue for me is that there’s only 2 A’s in this line-up and only one legit headliner. I’ve seen you Death Cab and Modest Mouse, and you sirs are no headliners. I’ve seen most of the good bands here. Is it worth going to Miami for? Phish (10.0) is in Hampton that weekend, don’t you know.

Headliners: Snoop Dogg 9.2, TBA, TBA (I say TBA because they should have more real acts that are headliner worthy. No further announcements are coming as far as I know.)
2nd Tier: Girl Talk 9.9, Public Enemy 8.5, Death Cab for Cutie 7.2, Modest Mouse 7.6, Cold War Kids
3rd Tier: Thiervery Corporation, Ryan Adams, Slightly Stupid 3.4, Gene Ween Band, Umphrey’s McGee 8.5 Matisyahu 7.7, Disco Biscuits 5.3, Flogging Molly, Robery Randolph 6.7
4th Tier George Clinton 4.2, Michael Franti and Spearhead 4.6, Chromeo 4.0

~Z.T.~ The Coachella line-up was supposed to be here yesterday. Let’s do this thing. Who is playing at California’s Coachella Festival April 18-20th? We need a big festival line-up. All we know is Franz Ferdinand. The band leaked it on KROQ this morning.
Dream list:

Paul McCartney
Neil Young

Read the rest of this entry »

~Z.T.~6:59: I missed last week, but I wouldn’t say I missed it. Let’s get this over with.
7:00 Seacrest doing a piss poor Simon impression. Not impressed.
7:01 Wow, how have I never seen that footage of Randy Jackson in Journey before? Oh no, dog.7:03 Josh singing “Let’s Get it on” I’m thoroughly enjoying this guy. He’s even doing the sound effects. Randy dog count: 1. Ooh, another one. Randy dog count: 2 He got all yes’. Nice.
7:07 Dog girl makes it. She’s nothing special. The girls kiss. I thought that was for desperate girls who no one likes at parties. Oh, wait, that is Paula these days.
7:14 We can hear you sucking even when you snap.
7:15 Oh, no. They’re bringing the mom in. This isn’t gonna be good for anybody.
7:17 This is the girl you ask out for dinner because she’s cute, but are terrified she’s going to stab you with a fork the whole time.
7:18 Where are their standards tonight? This girl is a creep who can’t sing.
7:23 The tease of Vampire Weekend was the best part of the show thus far.
7:25 Crying count: 27:26 I know why Darren was crying. He’s heard himself sing. You don’t think so?
7:29 Crying count: 3. Everyone’s hugging her. Aww. The face she’s making as she says “but I hit my high note and everything” is priceless.
7:36 The first feel-good story of the episode. Her and her mom almost didn’t survive childbirth. She’s moving on.
7:38 I love facial hair, but come on dog, you gotta shave that Amish beard before you go on A.I.
7:39 George with the beard is my hero. He sounded like Kermit the Frog choking.
7:46 Anne Marie- in the words of Ezra Furman. “I want me inside you.”
7:47 Can we just give Anne Marie the trophy now, please?I can’t get enough of Randy in Journey.
7:48 T.K. Hash is making John Lennon spin in his grave. Just stop.
7:49 He has a good voice, but it was a terrible version. We’ve got more crying coming up soon.
7:54 Crying count: 3 I love when they bring a guitar just to put it down.
7:55 This bandana guy belongs in a dorm room trying to woo the pants off a freshman after three glasses of boxed wine.
7:56 Hahahhaha he told his mom not to touch him. Not cool, dog.
7:57 Anne Marie is my American Idol. No one has been close to her yet.