Tuesday, October 17, 2017

American Idol Season 8 Auditions – San Juan and New York

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Posted by admin On January - 29 - 2009

-A.S. The final night of auditions. After this, we lose the ammo of pathetic people looking for their 15 minutes of fame. We’ll test the merit of our music critic skills in the first few episodes, and see which pony we’ll ride to the finals. Until then, American Idol is kicking off with a West Side Story Reference.
7:03 Adeola Adegoke quit her job because she’s so sure she’s going to Hollywood. Please tell me one of the judges makes a don’t quit your day job joke. Yes, Kara! Thank you! Side note, Randy just told told her singing wasn’t her “skeez.” Really, dog?
7:05 Simon felt bad enough to get on the phone with Ade’s boss and get her job back. Apparently she didn’t quit her job in true Half Baked fashion.
7:06 Jorge Nunez is singing in Spanish. Did he miss the memo that this is AMERICAN Idol? Does asking that make me racist? Oh well, he’s singing well in English too.
7:13 Jessica Baier won a beautiful baby contest when she was 8-months-old. Is anyone else thinking what happened? Oh, there’s that baby. She’s stomping like a toddler. ~Z.T.~ The only contest she should have won is “girl I’d most want to strangle.”
7:16 Melinda Camille is happy when she dances naked in her room. Of course Fox is dwelling on that topic.
7:17 Melinda wants to join a nudist colony and likes to dance naked. She told the judges she would be naked if all of them were. I’ll root for the naked chick, she can sing.
7:25 Jackie Tohn has me thinking she was terrible trying to sing Jason Mraz, but she stepped it up when Simon asked for a second song. I don’t know if we should take the shades on the window falling down as a bad omen, but she did get her golden ticket. ~Z.T.~ People bringing in guitars just annoy me. What’s the point? You don’t get to play it.
7:26 The Spanish speaking Puerto Rico montage is funnier than the fail clips they’re showing.7:33 The Crazy Rocker (above right) is screaming at an Ice Cream man, singing “YOU ARE SELLING ICE CREAM!” He’s calling himself the guyPod and has the prop for it too. This guy is terrible, but I’d watch his TV show. He’s singing “Circle of Life” with a lion hand puppet. Hilarious. ~Z.T.~ Any use of puppets should be automatic FAIL.
7:35 Norman Gentle? Simon told him thought he’d enjoy the critique that Norman Gentle told him hurt him in the nuts. Norman’s response? “You mean the way you like it when Seacrest does it?” ZING!
7:38 Nick Mitchell is Norman Gentle. He actually surprised when singing “Amazing Grace” as his second song. He was funny enough to get the judges to vote yes, except for for Simon. I guess the Seacrest joke ticked him off. ~Z.T.~ Simon loved that joke, but this freak show didn’t deserve the golden ticket. Even the girl he came with looked shocked.
7:43 Watching American Idol has inspired my mom to sing during the commercial break. It’s a rendition of “I’m So Excited” that would make the worst auditions contestants look like the next American Idol. ~Z.T.~ I think you have a wonderful voice, Randi. Your son is being a schmuck.
7:47 Monique Garcia Torre’s adorable little brother is winning over the judges. No way they can say no to her. Despite no’s from Randy and Kara, Simon proved his heart wasn’t made of stone. He took one look at Monique’s little brother and couldn’t say no. ~Z.T.~ I was watching with my 7 year-old cousin who was confused at the tie. I told him Simon’s vote counts extra. “Oh, like Simon says? I get it. Is his name really Simon?!” Adorable.
7:53 Alexis Cohen had glitter all over her face last time she auditioned and flipped the bird quite a few times. This time she’s doing Buddhist chants and wearing a dress. Her appearance may have changed, but she still can’t sing. Some other things don’t change either. She’s flicking off Simon again and got bleeped out. ~Z.T.~ She’s the odds on favorite to kill herself in front of Simon’s house.
7:56 Patricia Lewis Roman is the last contestant of auditions. The audition site is the same place her parents got married. Not quite a feel good story, but I don’t think American Idol would end auditions on a sour note. She’s singing very loudly not very well. Her second song, sung in Spanish, sounds much better. Golden ticket, despite Paula saying no. I didn’t even know that word was in her vocab. ~Z.T.~ Seacrest out.

2 Responses

  1. Shore Said,

    Are you referring yourself as Seacrest now?

    Posted on January 31st, 2009 at 9:26 am

  2. Teibs Said,

    I don’t know what it’s from, but I remember hearing “seacrest out” and thinking it was hilarious.

    Posted on January 31st, 2009 at 3:55 pm

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