~Z.T.~ Sometimes you need to see a musician four times in three states in one year. Especially if his name is Girl Talk. Andy and I are heading down to our old stomping grounds of Bloomington, Ind. Hopefully we’ll get in positive degree temperature and get extra steamy on stage at a sold-out Girl Talk show. Check the twitters. For now, this is what you can expect:

No concert experience compares to being on stage at a Girl Talk show. “Nothing compares to you (what’chu know about that? I know all about that) Nothing compares. To you.” It’s like being in the eye of the hurricane. You’ll need uppers. Two cans of energy drink is my pre-show fix. Off-stage is a hectic, sweaty mob scene. You don’t decide where your next step will be. The swaying mob decides for you. On-stage you have complete control. Free your mind and let that ass follow...

-A.S. Night two of the American Idol auditions. Tonight they are in Kansas City. I was not too impressed with the crop from PHX last night.
~Z.T.~ Prediction: Number of people who cry including singers, judges and family members: 15
7:03 -A.S. At least the first girl they are spotlighting is attractive. Something really, really bothers me about her voice. Yuck, vibrato. She sounds like the song from Mars Attacks that kills the aliens.
7:04 ~Z.T.~ Simon: “That sounded like a Cat jumping off Empire State building and the noise it would make before it hit the floor.”
Randy: “And then when it hit the floor, the sirens would be making that noise.” Kara and Paula decide to become her therapists, they feel so bad for her. This is actually sad. Not funny sad.
7:07 ~Z.T.~ Messing up the lyric to the writer of the song, wow. Damn, she’s good though. Simon won’t be able to get over it. I know I’d be pissed. Don’t misquote me to me.
7:14 -A.S. This David Cook commercial reminds me of how much I dislike David Cook, and I’m thinking it probably has something to do with the fact that he sounds exactly like the dude from Nickleback.
7:15 ~Z.T.~ Well, isn’t Casey Carlson (right) just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. I’d move to Kansas City for this girl. Name sounds a bit like Kelly Clarkson too, doesn’t it. Just saying.
7:18 ~Z.T.~ My first legit LOL of the season. This guy doing Aretha is the best kind of bad. He genuinely thinks he’s got it, because drunk people at parties encourage him. I hope I overhear him singing in a YMCA shower one day.
7:19 -A.S. Brian was so bad Randy didn’t even call him dog. At least he refused to cry on camera.
7:22 ~Z.T.~ CRYING MONTAGE! We got 6 and one right before commercial. Crying count: 7
7:26-7:29 ~Z.T.~Just send this whole clip to failblog.org. So much fail.
7:28 -A.S. Maybe if Von didn’t look like he was going to try and eat the entire room when he sang, he’d be ok.
7:29 -A.S. Jason Castro’s emo brother calls Jason the girlie one. Oh yeah guy with the pink emo haircut? At least Jason looks like he eats sandwiches instead of cutting himself.
7:29 ~Z.T.~Von Smith, in the white hat, singing “Over the Rainbow” – “‘Scuse the phlegm” is your nickname. For the rest of your life. Every girl you ever meet. Ever. “Scuse the Phlegm.” OMG Are those even notes? I had to watch this performance twice. No way.
7:35 Whaaaat?! How?! Von Smith sucks! It made my ears want to cry.
7:39 -A.S. Michael Castro (below) looks incredibly emo, but chose to sing Gavin Degraw. Which is almost as funny as Simon half referencing that the Castros always appear to be lifted. His eyes were almost as pink as his hair…7:40 ~Z.T.~ Randy “dog” count: 1
7:43 ~Z.T.~ There is no way to watch this show without sandwiches. Like a sandwich every three commercial breaks.
7:47 A.S. Matt sounds great singing Bill Withers’ “Ain’t No Sunshine.” I think he was my favorite one so far, despite the fact that Randy Jackson doesn’t agree with me. Sorry dog.
7:48 ~Z.T.~ That was my first actual minute of enjoying this show.
7:50 -A.S. It took me the second time of hearing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to realize that they might be singing it because they’re in Kansas.
7:51 ~Z.T.~ “These are my crazy pills. These are my crazy pills.” -I love a girl with a crazy old grandma. She’s decent, but she’s never gonna win.
7:53 -A.S. Trying out for American Idol singing Janis Joplin is ballsy, and this chick is nailing it.
8:00 -A.S. These sisters (right) look like they might have been triplets and one of them ate the third.
8:02 ~Z.T.~ Is it sad that Salt and Pepper is the only duo I can think to compare these two to? That was fun. I’d listed to them more.
8:12 ~Z.T.~The guy whose wife died. How can you not feel bad for him. Cry count: 8
8:11 -A.S. At least Daniel has a good reason for crying. I hope he’s good, because now I’ll feel bad making fun of him.
8:12 -A.S. He’s doing “I heard It Through the Grapevine.” I love David Ruffin, and this guy is ripping it up. A feel good story. I’ll pull for this guy, even if every time I see him I’ll think of Randy Jackson trying to show him how to explode the fist bump.
8:15 ~Z.T.~ “One of the best we’ve heard” for Danny, the widower. Good for him. Really enjoyed that.
8:15 -A.S. Anoop (below)! Raise your hand if you were shocked that voice came out of that dude. Anoop-Dogg!!!8:17 ~Z.T.~ Randy “Dog” count: 2 “ANOOP-DOG!” Can that count double?
8:17 ~Z.T.~ Note to self. Never go to Kansas City to meet women.
8:18 -A.S. What’s with all the jacked up teeth Kansas City? Almost as bad as these Stevie Wonder covers. Also, does anybody else think it makes no sense that the American Idol logo is in front of a globe?
8:19 ~Z.T.~ Randy “Dog” count: 4. He hit a 2 run homer there. Did you catch it?
8:23 ~Z.T.~ Please end this show. I’m fading.
8:25 ~Z.T~ This cheerleading thing is not funny bad. It just has to stop.
8:25 -A.S. Is Maggie Gyllenhall (left?) dressed as a cheerleader and hyping up Andrew? I can’t believe the cheerleaders weren’t singing back up there. Missed opportunity for comedy gold.
8:26 ~Z.T.~ I really hope they don’t like this “My Girl” singer because he sang their name. He’s garbage.
8:27 ~Z.T.~ Told ya. He ain’t shit.
8:30 -A.S. Asa is showing Zack how you’re supposed to cover Michael Jackson. Sorry fro guy from yesterday with the tap shoes.
8:30 ~Z.T.~ I genuinely enjoyed that “Way You Make Me Feel.” Paula’s right. It’s hard to pull off MJ.
8:37 -A.S. Michael Nicewonder looks like he should be auditioning for Joe Dirt 2, not American Idol. Dude has quite the Oedipus Complex … and a total lack of singing and songwriting ability.
8:38 Unemployed dentists- go to Kansas City. This whole city needs your help.
8:40 ~Z.T.~ Crying count: 9. That was my favorite cry.
8:41 ~Z.T.~ This is my new move: :::Backflip::: “Mr. Hollywood!!” That HAS to work.
8:42 -A.S. Chris Brown is famous because he can dance, not sing. Dennis can do neither. I am shocked that he’s going to Hollywood. Did this show ever have credibility? I’m thinking it just went out the window. Seriously, they would have been better off saying they’d rather play as Simon & Garfunkel than Aerosmith on Guitar Hero.
8:42 ~Z.T.~ “Puffy, Jay Z” I can sing very very very very very good.” He’s just straight begging.8:43 ~Z.T.~ Crying count: 11 His mom and another supporter.
8:44 ~Z.T.~ So, begging works? No! It was the :::Backflip::: “Mr. Hollywood (above)!!”
“That is called being duped.”
8:50 ~Z.T.~ Sleeping girl? Really? Pharmy much?
8:51 -A.S. Sleeping Beauty should have stayed in bed instead and slept. I wish I never had to hear her try to hit that high note….aaaand they just hit me with it three more times. F U American Idol.
8:53 ~Z.T.~ Tornado story not doing it for me.
8:54 ~Z.T.~ The woman’s got soul, though. Damn, girl.
8:55 ~Z.T.~ She’s a real contender. I’ll call it now. She’ll go the farthest of anyone in the first two nights.
8:55 -A.S. Thank you for not butchering Stevie Wonder Lil. I would have felt like a dick making fun of a feel good story. I’m gonna do it anyway. Maybe if you would have focused more on singing and less on popping out babies, you would have been here sooner. Sorry. I’m sorry.

~Z.T.~ Burning man is really more of an art festival, but it’s still a big-ass gathering of people on acid, so we have to cover it. It’s August 31st to September 7th in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert. From what I’ve gathered, people get naked fairly often, take a lot of acid and get really hot b/c it’s 110 degrees. Also, they burn stuff and there’s a lot of art. I can see myself making it to one of these, but I think Andy would rather go to a Slightly Stupid fan club meeting than go to Burning Man.
Photo by Tom Pendergast

Tickets go on sale today.

2009 Art Theme: “Evolution”
Nature never made a plan, nor does it seem to copy very well. No living thing is ever quite the same as others of its kind. Charles Darwin called this Natural Variation. There is a kind of subtle chaos, a supple element of chance and change, residing at the core of living things. Our theme this year prompts three related questions: What are we as human beings, where have we come from, and how may we adapt to meet an ever-changing world?

-A.S. The fourth judge, Kara DioGuardi (below), isn’t the only new thing this year with American Idol. For the first time ever, the Festival Crashers will be a part of the madness. Also new is less train wrecks in the auditions. I think that is a mistake, but I guess that’s more ugly aftermath of Paula Abdul’s super fan/stalker gone suicidal.I’ve always enjoyed trying to pick the winner within the first few episodes, and actually picked Jordin Sparks, winner of season 6, on her first performance. I think it will turn into a nice little competition between Zack and I. My hope is that we will see somebody come through that makes John Lennon roll over in his grave to hide the boner their awe inspiring performances give him.

The Season Premiere Running Diary

6:49 p.m. ~Z.T.~ Over-under on how many times Randy says “dog” this episode: 4
6:55 p.m. ~Z.T.~ Andy suggests we have a sandwich, but I’m worried we’ll get sloppy.
7:01 ~Z.T.~ A lot of people cry in this show, apparently. Seriously. Does everyone cry all the time? This. This. This. This is Seacrest!
7:03 -A.S. The video of screaming/crying girls when David Cook was announced the winner is priceless. I can only hope Zack is taking Idol that seriously by the end of this season. ~Z.T.~ Not gonna happen.
7:10 ~Z.T.~ So many unnecessary montages. We get it. You went all over the country. One of the singers’ clever song: “Oh Phoenix, you’re very hot. I’m not kidding, you’re very hot.” Wow.
7:13 -A.S. What’s more likely: the new judge can’t work with Simon or she bones him? Future Zack: Most likely is that she’ll start cat fights with any singer hotter than her.
7:14 ~Z.T.~ The vietnamese fro guy! That’s the worst robot ever, Twan. Not the worst MJ though. Andy thinks it sucks. Oh, no. He’s tap dancing. He lost it. And it’s over. Train. Wreck. Stop.
7:16 -A.S. Twan (below) does some dance that is a combination of the robot and a toy soldier. Gotta love it when a contestant mistakes the judges’ laughing at them for them enjoying their performance. That doesn’t get old.7:17 ~Z.T.~ The saddest noise in the world is walking away dejectedly in tap shoes.
7:18 -A.S. I thought professional musicians couldn’t participate, but it looks to me like Pink (below?) is singling “Barracuda.” I didn’t love her voice, but the judges seem to like her for being different. If by different they mean the token rocker they keep on way too long.7:25 ~Z.T.~ This guy is crying before he even sings. I see an epic fail coming.
7:26 ~Z.T.~ Called it. Why is he holding “luck” for like 3 extra beats. Is he allergic to timing? Just leave. Oh no. He’s crying again.
7:28 -A.S. Every time a dude dressed as a rocker lets you see his lip quivering, David Crosby needs another new organ.
7:29 ~Z.T.~ “I have no more tears” he says. Annnd he’s crying like five seconds later. The next year of his life: “Hey, aren’t you the guy who cried four times on ‘American Idol’? Wait, are you still crying? Seriously, man. Stop.”
7:31 -A.S. Finally somebody who can sing. J.B. has a nice voice, but he cried too. I’m starting to think that American Idol is going to be the downfall of rock and roll. Jordin Sparks promotes promise rings to support abstinence and their contestants keep crying.
7:34 -A.S. I don’t know what was more painful, hearing Michael Gurr or seeing the faces he was making while he sang.
7:36 ~Z.T.~ So far we haven’t seen anyone who has a chance at winning. Also, I think Randy is over saying “dog.”
7:40 -A.S. The dude singing Tears for Fears sounds like Betty Boop. Will somebody please give him his testicles back?7:41 ~Z.T.~ This X-Ray character (above) has way too much blow in his system. Oh. Oh Oh Oh. OK stop.
7:43 ~Z.T.~ What’s better: Seacrest’s bad puns or when the contestants won’t leave after Simon tells them to?
7:44 -A.S. Arianna Afsar has got a set of pipes, and is belting out Corrine Baily Rae. Digging her, as I’m sure Wooderson next to me is too. Allllllright.
7:53 -A.S. They’re letting James Earl Jones try out for American Idol? Elijah should have sung “Old Man River,” because that was terrible.
7:56 ~Z.T.~ “I can spin, I can twirl.” I can throw up.
7:56 -A.S. Paula may have put the kibosh on stalkers, but I think they’re hazing the new judge with Lea Marie (right), self proclaimed Kara DioGuardi super-fan.
7:58 ~Z.T.~ This 16 year-old girl with the pink cowboy hat has the most nasal voice this side of Bill Simmons. She should ask for her songbook back.
8:00 -A.S. Stevie Wright has got “At Last” down, and I’m thinking just that. It’s about time we’ve seen somebody capable of winning this competition.
8:02 ~Z.T.~ She’s got some pipes on her for sure. She’s soft, but she’s the first legit contender.
8:10 ~Z.T. Randy “dog” count: 1
8:14 ~Z.T.~ Bikini girl just gave Simon wood.
8:18 ~A.S.~ Mad props to the cameraman for showing so many shots of Bikini Girl’s ass. She’s stirring it up with Cara. CATFIGHT!
8:19 ~Z.T.~ That girl made it 100% on her ass. And she’s going for Seacrest. Oh, it’s on.
8:25 ~Z.T.~ “Simeeee!” ‘Killing me Softly” is just killing me.
8:27 -A.S. Simeee girl will definitely kill me hardly if she keeps up with that Mary J. Blige note milking. Guhhhh.
8:33 -A.S. Needed a sandwich to get through the rest of this. Chicken salad with grapes and pecans. Yum.
8:37 -A.S. Cody looks emo. An emo girl, actually. Pretty surprised he can actually sing though and the judges agree. Is this the season of emo? I sure hope not.
8:42 ~Z.T.~ Every season is emo season, Andy. A bunch of cry babies.
8:44 ~Z.T.~ This nerdy Alex kid who “came out of the closet” is pretty good, even if he has scared owl eyes.
8:46 -A.S. Alex may have been miffed by Simon’s in the closet joke. Good comeback with “I could sing “God Save the Queen” though. This season’s Sanjaya? If he keeps up with the British jokes, I hope he stays.
8:49 ~Z.T.~ “I’m a cowboy, dead or alive.” Dead. Please stay dead.
8:50 ~Z.T.~ You just know this blind guy is going to be amazing. It’s unfortunate, because we could talk as much as we want about how he sucks and he’d never read it.
8:56 -A.S. I just learned something. Not all blind musicians do the head swaying back and forth thing.
8:57 ~Z.T.~ Seacrest- Don’t high five a blind dude. Seriously. Not cool.
9:00 It’s over. Thank god. We may be back tomorrow. I mean, Andy will. I’m the Wildcard.

Jack White=god.

~Z.T.~ We’re live blogging American Idol from now on, starting with tonight’s two-hour premiere. I know, I know, we might as well hang up a sign that says “Hey, we’re selling out” but Andy assures me the auditions are some of the funniest T.V. of the year.We’ll be posting our running commentary for two hours tonight starting at 8/7 central. I’ll do my best to be as catty as possible. I hate myself for doing this. I wonder if I’ll make it to tomorrow night’s show.

~Z.T.~ I got a call this morning from the lead singer of the biggest selling band in South Africa and I could barely understand a word he said. The band is the Parlotones and their lead singer Kahn Morbee is a hell of a nice guy, but I wish he would have sang the interview to me, because he sounds clear as day in their music. A sound he described as early Radiohead circa The Bends.

The Parlotones are playing in the U.S. for the first time ever at SXSW in March. Morbee called it an “exciting journey” that he can’t wait for. I’ll be there to welcome them.

~Z.T.~ Peter Mensch, Jimmy Page’s manager, has told Music Radar (and confirmed by Rollingstone.com) “Led Zeppelin are over!” “If you didn’t see them in 2007, you missed them. It’s done. I can’t be any clearer than that.” Boooooooo.

At first I was annoyed that this video had no sound, but honestly, it’s too perfect. I’m just glad I saw John Paul Jones playing LZ with ?uestlove and Ben Harper. That’s as close as I’ll ever get. Denied, indeed.

Typical Ezra, wide-eyed with his homemade t-shirt.

~Z.T.~ “I’m not dressed and I’m not going to get dressed while you’re here,” Ezra Furman says as he opens the door. He’s wearing the same t-shirt he wore at the concert last night, boxers and has a blanket draped around himself. Last night, before playing a blistering version of “Big Deal,” he said he always wants to keep it personal. Not wearing pants is pretty personal.

Ezra Furman is on the verge of breaking out in a big way. His band released their latest album, Inside the Human Body, to rave reviews in October. Their weekly Monday night gigs at Schuba’s were consistently packed with fans begging for an encore and Greg Kot gave them a glowing write-up in the Chicago Tribune. Read the rest of this entry »

-A.S. The initial line up for Wakarusa 2009 has been released. Already moved from it’s location in Lawrence, Kansas to Arkansas, the line up is less than impressive. Maybe I’m spoiled from seeing so many great line ups last summer, but I feel like this one is a bit recycled. I’d stay local and go to Summer Camp to get my jam band festival fix.

Yonder Mountain String Band (2 big sets!), STS9 (2 big sets!), Galactic (late night set), Buckethead (late night set), Sly & Robbie, Railroad Earth (2 sets), Cross Canadian Ragweed, Digable Planets, Porter, Batiste & Stoltz (2 sets), Steve Kimock & Crazy Engine, Perpetual Groove (2 sets), Split Lip Rayfield (2 sets), Lucero, The Egg, 20/20 Soundsystem, Jimmy Herring Band, Cornmeal (2 sets), EOTO, Boombox, Jacob Fred Jazz Odyssey, Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit, Secret Chiefs 3, Joe Purdy, Dirtfoot (2 sets), Pretty Lights and many more.