Friday, December 15, 2017

American Idol Season 8 Hollywood Round 1

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Posted by admin On February - 3 - 2009

-A.S. Well, the auditions are over. I think the judges were a bit generous this year with their golden tickets. It will be interesting to see how they find the diamonds in the rough. My hope is that the Hollywood round is kind of like an auditions part two.

7:00 Doesn’t Seacrest call every season their biggest season yet? How do they determine that? Do they put all the judges on a scale, Biggest Loser style?
7:02 147 of Americas best singers and they called the last round auditions?
7:03 Barry Manilow (above) is there to help the contestants. There are so many jokes running through my head right now I don’t even know where to go. Leave your best Barry Manilow joke in the comments, please.
7:05 Lil Rounds got a standing ovation from the judges, so I guess she’s more than a cool name.
7:08 Dennis Bringham is Zack’s secret favorite, the self proclaimed Mr. Hollywood. He butchered some Stevie and said “yall suck as judges.” As he left the stage, he dissed Simon’s cheap pants and shirt. Sick burn, Mr. Hollywood.
7:12 Was that a new bikini girl?
7:14 Nathaniel Marshall (right) does not sing like his appearance would lead you to believe he would. At least he talks as emo as he looks. Zack will be happy to see that people still cry past the auditions.
7:15 Anoop Dogg!! This guy can sing.
7:16 Jasmine Murray is 16, but she sounds awesome.
7:16 They’re giving Rose Flack a montage, and she’s crying. If the auditions taught us anything, it’s that Fox doesn’t set you up to knock you down.
7:18 That whole group, including Michael Castro, made it through. I figured they’d milk the brother Castro, but they didn’t even show him sing.
7:22 Stephen Fowler sang Stevie Wonder, and Randy told him that he slayed that big ol’ bear. Hilarious.
7:23 Jorge Nunez and his Jerry curl got called beautiful.
7:24 Von Smith lost his stupid hat, and the approval of the Simon. He still made it through to the next round.
7:27 Norman Gentle (left) is back. Nick Smith pulled the shirt and head band out of the trash and went for his second 15 minutes of fame. He got a genuine laugh out of Paula calling for the balcony, and Seacrest, to sing along. He also made it to the next round.
7:36 Jackie Tohn got a whacky montage and just said terribluh. She’s got a serious Janis thing going on.
7:38 Awwwww. Friends montage. Cue Michael Franti.
7:40 Danny Gokey, with the feel good story, is up. Danny sings “Kiss From a Rose.” I’m thinking it’s impossible not to root for this guy.
7:46 Bikini Girl (right) is back! Unfortunately she’s wearing clothes this time around, but she packed a new bikini. Simon is calling for a cat fight. Can’t say I disagree… Kara went for the low blow, telling Simon to bring his pole tomorrow.
7:50 Jeremy Michael Sarver got a montage. I’m glad he got through, because I didn’t want him pissed off. The only people I know of with three names, assassinated presidents.
7:56 New Pink, Emily Wynne-Hughes, pulled the Charlie move and sang an unrehearsed song. She made it through…wild card bitches!
8:00 Zack will be so sad that they glossed over Ann Marie, but at least she made it through.

6 Responses

  1. Shore Said,

    My apologies to John David Booty. He hasn’t assassinated anybody, yet.

    Posted on February 3rd, 2009 at 11:06 pm

  2. Teibs Said,

    Anthony Michael Hall, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Jason Leigh, James Earl Jones, Billy Ray Cyrus, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Jada Pinkett Smith, Martin Luther King Jr., Stevie Ray Vaughn, Haley Joel Osment,
    William Randolph Hearst, David Hyde Pierce, Sarah Jessica Parker, George Washington Carver Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Clark Duncan, William Howard Taft and Edgar Fucking Allen Poe called. They want an apology.

    Posted on February 4th, 2009 at 12:51 am

  3. Jebbica Said,

    “If the auditions taught us anything, it’s that Fox doesn’t set you up to knock you down.” Unless you’re Alexis Cohen.

    Posted on February 4th, 2009 at 1:28 am

  4. Teibs Said,

    My apologies to: Dexter, Darth Vader, JTT, Will Smith’s wife, MLK, SRV, the kid from 6th Sense, the guy who invented peanut butter, Edgar Allan Poe and all you other 3 namers I may have offended. Quoth this blogger, nevermore.

    PS Really people ZERO Barry Manilow jokes? I thought that picture would inspire quite a few.

    Posted on February 4th, 2009 at 11:06 am

  5. Teibs Said,

    why’d you post as me, shorez? Get out of my email hahaha. i looked at manilow’s wiki page for like five minutes and couldn’t find anything to mock. he’s had an impressive career. i’d rather tear you up for your three name ignorance.

    BTW, staying up until 2 a.m. thinking of three named people was retarded.

    Posted on February 4th, 2009 at 4:04 pm

  6. Shore Said,

    Whoops! I was checking our stats, that stuff is all set up on your end.

    Posted on February 4th, 2009 at 5:37 pm

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