Saturday, September 23, 2017

Rock on the Range: The Worst Festival of the Summer

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Posted by teibs On February - 13 - 2009

rockontherange

@ZackTeibloom Move over Coachella. Step aside Bonnaroo. Make room for what the press release describes as “America’s premiere destination rock festival.” The Rock on the Range Festival. OK I’m intrigued. Who’s gonna be there? Let me guess. The Foo Fighters? Chili Peppers? Pearl Jam? Radiohead? The Racounteurs? Weezer? Neil Young? I mean, you have to have at least a couple of these if you’re going to call it “The premiere destination rock festival,” right?
Are you kidding me? Slipknot, Motley Crue, Alice in Chains and Korn. I’m speechless. You know the scene in “No Country for Old Men” where the old lady is mad that she has to go to El Paso and asks “You know how many people I know in El Paso?” and holds up a zero sign. Well, you know how many bands I want to see at this festival? None. Not for one second. That’s impressive. I like enough music that they really did something special to put together this completely worthless festival.

The tagline is “Where rock lives.” I’ve always said “Long live rock,” but WTF?! FC super-fan Hodge summed it up best: “If you paid me $300 and gave me a free ticket, i probably still wouldn’t go see this show.”

12 Responses

  1. Anonymous Said,

    wow yer a real idiot. You list a bunch of mediocre bands, and then complain that you can’t find one band on the list you like. There are a ton of good bands on that bill Douchebag

    Posted on February 13th, 2009 at 5:49 pm

  2. Teibs Said,

    hahahah yes! I can’t wait to mix it up with metal heads. You’re right. All the bands i listed suck! See ya at OzzFest…Oh wait…

    Posted on February 13th, 2009 at 5:56 pm

  3. Anonymous Said,

    nice thumbs down on “ROTR”. We travel all over the country, and this fucker is in our hometown and we still don’t go.

    Posted on February 13th, 2009 at 6:29 pm

  4. Anonymous Said,

    lol, holy shit. Buckcherry.

    Posted on February 13th, 2009 at 6:30 pm

  5. Anonymous Said,

    That line-up is so laughable it’s hard to believe it’s actually real

    Posted on February 13th, 2009 at 6:47 pm

  6. Shore Said,

    I’d see Motley Crue, but I’m not going to that festival to do it.

    Posted on February 13th, 2009 at 7:54 pm

  7. Anonymous Said,

    What about Framing Hanley? They cover Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop”…

    Posted on February 14th, 2009 at 12:57 pm

  8. Shore Said,

    Just because they cover something, doesn’t make it good…

    Posted on February 14th, 2009 at 1:10 pm

  9. Blake Said,

    Wow, if there was ever a need for me to comment this is it. Zach you are a dear friend to me but i find this insulting. Lets take a look at the headliners: Slipnot, Motley Crue, Alice in Chains, Avenged Sevenfold. Holy shit, I dont even know where to begin. I have seen Avenged Sevenfold twice and lemme tell you they put on a great show with some of the best dueling guitar harmonies that you will see in a metal act. I have never seen slipnot or korn, but do we really even have to sit here and debate their significance? Korn may have been the most popular, i dont even know what you would call their genra, but whatever it is, they were enormous in the 90s. Motley Crue without Tommy Lee is weak, ill admit, but its still the crue, and lemme tell you they know how to entertain. I decided to save my favorite for last. If you can honestly sit here and tell me that you are not excited about seeing Alice in Chain’s then I really have nothing to say. Since Lane Staleys untimely death everyone wondered what was going to happen to Alice in Chains. Now, armed with a new lead singer, who i heard sounds just as good as Lane, they are ready to make their comeback. If you havent really listened to alice n chains i highly suggest it. THeir “MTV Unplugged” album is one of the greatest. Zach, i implore you, please don’t post such ignorance again.

    Posted on February 14th, 2009 at 3:40 pm

  10. Teibs Said,

    Sorry Blake. I respect that you would enjoy this festival, but I haven’t been convinced. Motley Cure w/o Tommy Lee and Alice in Chains with a new lead singer does not a kick-ass festival make. Just b/c Korn was huge doesn’t mean I forgot how much I hated their music. I don’t think I would have felt the need to hate on this festival so much if they didn’t call it the “premiere rock destination festival” when “washed up metal bands” would have been so much more appropriate. In the words of Korn, “Ooooh wa ka ka ka.”

    Posted on February 15th, 2009 at 8:14 pm

  11. Anonymous Said,

    Not trying to be a dick or anything, but if you're gonna back up these bands you should at least spell their name correctly: slipnot>=Slipknot?

    Nevermind, I get it. It's because they're awful.

    Posted on February 16th, 2009 at 1:30 pm

  12. Anonymous Said,

    yeah, real let down this year, especially for someone who lives in columbus. someone told me pearl jam was going to be there and i got all excited, turns out that was a load though lol.

    Posted on March 6th, 2009 at 6:26 pm

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