@ZackTeibloom Halloween is rapidly approaching. We’re at the “if you want facial hair as part of your costume, you’re going to need to start growing it now” phase of October. If a three-day Halloween Phish festival in California with wasn’t enough to hype you up, the official Phish Festival 8 Web site has been killing off the 99 potential albums Phish will cover one by one until just one remains for them to play at  7:30 on the 31st as their costume.

UPDATE 10/23: Van Halen is the first to go. It would have been fun to see Trey shred up some Van Halen, but it was a long shot.

Latest Phish cuts: Van Halen, Neil Young Tonight’s the Night, Curtis Mayfield, Superfly soundtrack, Steely Dan Pretzel Logic,The Police Ghost in the Machine, Frank Zappa Hot Rats, Miles Davis Jack Johnson, Rage Against the Machine Evil Empire

Let’s play a little process of elimination and see if we can’t make a reasonable guess here. Along the way, I’ll give a grade to every album, discuss why it will or won’t get played and hate myself for not being able to go.

Before we break it down into divisions from least likely to most likely, let’s think about what the ideal cover album would be. They’ve done this 5 times before, playing The Beatles’ White Album, The Who’s Quadrophenia, Talking Heads’ Remain in Light, The Velvet Underground’s Loaded and Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of The Moon. They typically go with a classic rock album with at least a few songs a Phish fan can sing along to, generally upbeat and well-known. Let’s cut out the indie-rock, slow classics and albums that just have no business being here first. Any highlighted album you can click on and listen to.

Trey doesn’t fit in that costume

Beastie Boys Hello Nasty 9.6 Imagine Trey pulling off the “make the beat … ummm… drop!” line from “Body Movin.’” Not happening.

Radiohead Kid A 9.9 Trey can’t do Thom and I don’t think he’d want to. I know too many Phish fans who hate Radiohead for them to get away with it. I pictured Trey singing “Idioteque” for a minute and “laughed until my head fell off.”

Bob Dylan Blood On the Tracks 10 They want a high-energy set. It’s a nearly perfect album, but who’s gonna dance to it?

Elton John | Goodbye Yellow Brick Road I just can’t picture a whole set of Elton John. Andy may be able to convince me otherwise, but I can’t process it.

Curtis Mayfield | Superfly Soundtrack I don’t think they have the soul or funk in them to pull this off. Please prove me wrong.

How do we sing along?

Brian Eno Before and After Science N/A Does anyone know this album, really? Eno’s the man and it would be cool, but I just don’t think it’s popular or accessible enough. Here’s an example of what you’re in for if they pick it.

Miles Davis | A Tribute To Jack Johnson Awesome that this made the list, but no way is it going to be chosen. It’s two songs. And odds are you don’t know either.

Minutemen | Double Nickels On The Dime Quick, name a song by Minutemen. There are 45 songs on this album. Again, you probably don’t know any.

Over Gail’s dead body:

Frank Zappa Apostrophe 9.7, Hot Rats 9.3 Look, I’d love to hear Phish play Zappa more than anyone not named Fishman. He even put out an album of his favorite FZ. The issue is Frank’s wife Gail is obsessively protective over Frank’s songs. She asked them to stop covering “Peaches in Regalia.” You know they’ll sell the CD and maybe DVD of these shows. No way they’ll put up with Gail for all that BS.

I’d pay to see the make-up:

KISS | Alive II I’d pay good money for a poster of Phish in Kiss make-up, but sadly it was cut on 10/19.

Phish Isn’t Angry Enough:

Four great albums, but I just think they’re a bit too dark and metal for Trey and co. Paging Umphrey’s. Umphrey’s McGee. We need you to costume yourselves for these albums when you can.

• Black Sabbath Paranoid
• Rage Agaist The Machine Evil Empire
• King Crimson Larks’ Tongues In Aspic
• Metallica Master Of Puppets

Not The Right Album for That Band

If they do Bowie, they’d likely do Ziggy Stardust (even though I prefer Hunky Dory, it’s too slow) that Pixies album is not one of their best even though it’s their first and there are at least five better Neil Young albums and better Police/Steely to do if they wanted to do one.

• Pixies | Come On Pilgrim
• David Bowie | Hunky Dory 10
• Neil Young | Tonight’s The Night 9.5
• The Police | Ghost In The Machine
• Steely Dan | Pretzel Logic

Wait, What Do They Sing?

If I hadn’t listened to all these bands in rock 70s/80s I wouldn’t know anything about them. How can they expect the casual fan to? Love to T.Rex though.

• Blind Faith | Blind Faith
• Television | Marquee Moon
• Modern Lovers | The Modern Lovers
• T.Rex | Electric Warrior

Wildcards

I don’t know how to sort these. They’re either too proggy or horny or soft, but I can’t quite cross them off. Expect to see a bunch of these get cut in the next week, but don’t be shocked if one sneaks through. If I had to pick one off this list, I’d go with London Calling. Maybe Boston.

• Boston | Boston
• Chicago | The Chicago Transit Authority
• Genesis | The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway
• The Band | The Band (aka Brown Album)
• The Clash | London Calling
• Van Morrison | Astral Weeks
• Yes | The Yes Album

Hitler wouldn’t like it

MGMT | Oracular Spectacular 8.9 The only indie thing at this festival is Indio, California. Not happening. Fake Hitler won’t stand for it. “Anyone who has ever sung along to that shitty “kids” song leave now…”

Contenders

I think any album from here on has a legit chance. They’re hard rock enough, fast paced enough, and dog gone it, people like them. They have all the elements we’re looking for. They’re contenders.

The AC/DC Bag: 9.5

AC/DC | Back In Black Something intriguing about AC/DC in the mix. Not just because they play their own AC/DC bag. It’s some monster hits they’ve already tackled and it fits their sound surprisingly well. Let’s just hope Trey dresses up in the school boy outfit.

The Frankenstein

Michael Jackson Thriller 9.8* It’s almost too obvious, isn’t it? Why would they go through this hoopla just to pick the easiest album of all? Then again, why not?! It’s the year of MJ.

The Heavy Weights:

These 10 seem like the cream of the crop. Any one of them would be a perfect costume. I’ll write-up an analysis for each as we get closer or if one gets eliminated, but this is getting a bit long as it is. Who do you think will be chosen? Who do you want?

• Pink Floyd | The Wall
• Van Halen | Van Halen 9.4
• Nirvana | Nevermind 9.7
• Rolling Stones | Sticky Fingers 9.8
• 2. Bruce Springsteen | Born To Run
• Jimi Hendrix | Are You Experienced? 9.8

10/22

1. Curtis Mayfield | Superfly Soundtrack
2. Steely Dan | Pretzel Logic
3. Neil Young | Tonight’s The Night

10/23

1. Van Halen | Van Halen

10/24

1. Modern Lovers | The Modern Lovers
2. Brian Eno | Before And After Science
3. The Clash | London Calling
4. Nirvana | Nevermind

10/25

1. Black Sabbath | Paranoid
2. Boston | Boston
3. AC/DC | Back In Black

10/26

1. Rolling Stones | Sticky Fingers
2. Elton John | Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
3. T.Rex | Electric Warrior
4. Chicago | The Chicago Transit Authority
5. Minutemen | Double Nickels On The Dime

10/27

1. Television | Marquee Moon
2. Bruce Springsteen | Born To Run

Weekend schedule:

Friday, October 30th, 2009

• 7:30PM – Set 1
• 10:00PM – Set 2

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

• 3:00PM – Set 1
• 7:30PM – The Halloween Set
• 10:00PM – Set 3

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

• 12:00PM – Acoustic Set
• 5:30PM – Set 2
• 8:30PM – Set 3

Big thanks to Jamptopia.com for their compilation of most of this information

Related posts:

1. 50% Phish reunion and much more muddy lovin’ at New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival
2. More Phish tour dates announced
3. Phish 4-day passes to Red Rocks canceled
4. Phish on Guitar Hero and Rock Band
5. Phish To Headline Two Nights Of Bonnaroo?