@ZackTeibloom There are four faces a first-time crasher makes on their crash. It reminds me of the faces I’d make when my dad would take me to Cubs games and we’d get closer and closer to game time and still not have scalped cheap enough tickets for my dad to buy them. @RayRay849 made them all as I took her on her first crash last night at Antone’s for a sold out show by the Dirty Projectors.
Face #1 is eager, cautious optimism. The opening band isn’t on yet. No obstacles have given you a reason to worry. It’s all potential. Thankfully, we had a woman on the inside last night. @Den_mom proved herself to be the best at giving her location at ACL. No matter how deep she was in the crowd, she’d give a spot-on description of her location (next to the pirate flag, 5th row, even with the right speaker) that made her impossible to miss. You want her on the inside.
@Den_mom texted me a pic of the stamp we needed and I was pretty sure it was asian. She came outside to tell us that there were two lines of defense. There was the stamp and an orange wristband. I happened to have a bright orange wristband with me, but mine had writing on it and I only had one, so we needed to acquire one.
A back-up plan was marking an X in black sharpie on each hand. Surprisingly, I didn’t have a sharpie with me and @den_mom couldn’t get to the side doors to prop them open. We unsuccessfully checked the side doors and @rayray849 made face #2. The “Let’s just get tickets, I don’t wanna miss this” face.
I went so far as to ask the sole scalper in front if he had tickets. Thankfully, he didn’t. I didn’t want to have to resort to that so early. Or ever.
I realized we could easily get the orange wrist bands, which is half the battle. That was just for being 21. We cut that line and got the wrist bands in two minutes. Thanks to a pretty stellar parallel parking job, we were kitty corner from the venue and headed over to the car to try to fake the stamp.
As Andy and I said a lot at ACL, “We’ve done this before:” I’ve made a skull before. I could make this asian mash-up design:
At this point, @RayRay849 made face #3. The face I made when we could hear the national anthem playing before the Cubs game as my dad was telling a scalper he was nuts for trying to get more than face value for tickets. It’s the worried, “You really think this is going to work?” face. It always works.
I stamped my Pita Pit stamper about 75 times on each of our hands in a Monet-esque barrage of pita’s that vaguely resembled the real stamp, if it was dark enough. It was dark enough, they didn’t suspect a thing and I put crash #23 in the books while @RayRay849 made face #4. The “Why did I ever doubt you?” face. Ahh, the exhilaration of the crash.
Lessons for Crashing Antone’s:
While I clearly advocate replicating the pass whenever possible, there is a side door that’s easy to get into. There are two side doors. The one furthest from the main entrance will lead you to no man’s land in between VIP and the crowd. Don’t go there. The door you want is the middle one. It opens to a spot the crowd can easily get to, right by the sound board, under the glowing BLUES sign that “Pulsifer’s” w/ goo. Have your friends stand by it and push the door open,so it’s not obvious you’re coming in.
God speed, crashers.