Sunday, November 19, 2017

Why was Ron Jeremy at Dirty Projectors?

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Posted by teibs On October - 27 - 2009

ron@ZackTeibloom “It has to be him. No one else is that ugly” @supercooleric said as we spent far too long debating whether it really was Ron Jeremy up in the VIP at the Dirty Projectors show. The balding, “hedgehog” head, the gut, the ‘stache, the fact that he was surrounded by women. I was still skeptical. Once people started taking pictures of him, it was hard to argue.

During the show he looked like he was working on his Weekend at Bernie’s impression for Halloween. Arms crossed, mostly asleep, he looked like death. When he was awake, he looked at the band, seemingly thinking:

“None of the chicks in this band are bang-able. Should I offer to buy them some tits? Would they still sing that well with 9.75″ in their mouths? I bet they don’t shave.”

ron2To say it was distracting to have Ron Jeremy directly in my sight line the entire show is the understatement of the night. Actually the understatement of the night is that Ron looked bad. I was shocked he turned down cookies from a fan right before I took my pic with him. I should have asked what he was doing at the show, because I was wildly curious, but all I could manage was:

Me: “Hey Ron, nice to meet you.”

Ron: “Does that girl have a boyfriend?”

Since I didn’t get to ask, I have to speculate:

What got Ron Jeremy to that show?!

5. He heard the words “dirty” and “projectors” and made his own conclusions of a porn screening.

4. He was on the VIP and heard the girls at Yellow Rose are nothing special on a Monday night.

3. He heard the “opening” was called for 9. He made a career of being at openings made for 9.

2. The opening band was called “Giver.” He was down to be a giver or a taker. (You know he’s famous for being able to take himself in his mouth, right?)

1. He’s always up for a “D.P.” show.

3 Responses

  1. Festival Crashers » Blog Archive » Rock Poet Thax Douglas Said,

    […] Thax wrote. “this show was a dirty projection of what music in heaven must sound like” underneath the poem on his MySpace pag He was a lot more poetic than my take on that night at Dirty Projectors. […]

    Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 8:52 pm

  2. Festival Crashers » Blog Archive » Festival Crashers 1,000th Post Said,

    […] Why was Ron Jeremy at Dirty Projectors? #3. He heard the “opening” was called for 9. He made a career of being at openings made for 9. You know you wanna read all five explanations. […]

    Posted on January 20th, 2010 at 11:55 pm

  3. Festival Crashers » Blog Archive » Coachella 2010 Set Time Conflicts & Schedule Said,

    […] For me, it’s all about the Dirty Projectors. I can get my untz on another time with Bassnectar and I’d rather have the XXX than the xx. (That joke makes more sense when you remember this story) […]

    Posted on April 13th, 2010 at 7:53 am

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