Monday, January 21, 2019

The Sing Off: Pilot – Take One

Posted by shore On December - 15 - 2009

thesingoff @AndyShore American Idol season is just around the corner. I think I saw the first commercial for it yesterday. I decided I might try an Idol tune-up when I saw an ad for The Sing Off last week. I’ll give it a go tonight and see if there’s enough going to write about (re:make fun of). Just finished a sandwich, so now seems as good a time as any to see what The Sing Off is all about. Who’s coming with me?

8:01 Nick Lachey is the host. I missed that in the ad spot. If this show is successful, does that make him one up on Jessica Simpson?

8:03 “Under Pressure” to open the show is a good start. Things got very funny to me very fast. I had to pause just to catch up on what I wanted to write and process what was happening on screen.

-I’d call that Noteworthy (the yellow team w/the mohawk girl) are lesbians, but they’re from Utah. Is that legal there?

-Is the group called Solo supposed to be ironic?

-All of a sudden it got better! Maxx Factor comes out of nowhere. Middle-aged women wearing red blazers with shoulder pads! I need another sandwich stat.

-Mohawk chick went for that note and BLEW IT. That hurt my ears, despite some applause from the audience.

8:07 Ben Folds is a judge. Respek. Nicole Scherzinger looks comfortable in that judges chair, which is a big change from her usual stripper pole. I can only hope that if one of the groups blows it, Shawn Stockman (Boyz II Men) gets up there and shows them how to “zoom zoom zayaa.”

8:09 Nota is up first. It’s been so long since I blogged Idol, I forgot about the tugging at the heart strings montages. In this one, the guy’s wife had an extended stay in the hospital from Swine Flu, so he sang to her. Not enough for me to root for them. The percussive a capella stuff behind “I’m Yours” sounds cool, but their second lead is not that great. Plus this song is played out at this point.

8:12 Nicole S is channeling her inner Paula Abdul for this one. Ben Folds calls beat boxing mouth drumming, but he agrees with me about how good it was. He’s too much of a nerd to be Simon. Shawn Stockman is a few dawgs short of being Randy Jackson yet.

8:19 Voices of Lee is a Christian a capella group. I will consider it a complete failure if they don’t do “Jesus is Just Alright” before their time on this show is over. They’re performing “Unwritten.” First lead has no special quality to her voice, and is not displaying any range. Not anywhere near as good as Nota. I don’t know if the total group finish will be enough to give them another shot to do the Doobie Brothers.

8:23 Shawn was also not as impressed with Voices of Lee. Ben Folds wants to be nice, but also didn’t feel their performance. He also agrees with me on their finish. Nicole said almost nothing, but there was a fan blowing her hair briefly while she spoke.

8:30 New drinking game. Drink every time Nick Lachey mentions there is absolutely no musical instruments. Take an additional drink for every instrument he lists that you are not hearing. More rules to come.

8:31 Face hails from Boulder, CO. “When I say I’m in a vocal band they’re like, oh barber shop or doo wop? We don’t do wop.” These guys are my new favorite. They’re a self proclaimed vocal rock band. Heart strings time. Cancer wife and surrogate mom/friend. They’re doing “Living on a Prayer.” Their lead is mostly good, but he had a few low points during their performance. The back up singers are all spot on, with several members taking on lead.

8:34 Ben Folds gave them rock hands. I wish he gave me rock hands. I like Ben Folds, but he’s creepy smiley and friendly right now. Nicole S sounds like an idiot (drink every time you close your eyes and swear it could be Paula Abdul). That statement was rambling and hilarious. Everyone enjoyed the performance, but acknowledged the low points in the performance.

8:42 Noteworthy from BYU are Mormon. I’m sorry I called them lesbians. I meant cult. They’re singing Aretha. It will be very difficult to impress me singing “Think.” Pink wannabe lacks the soul for this one. Also, there’s something creepy in those girls’ eyes.

8:46 Ben Folds told the Mormon chicks they should cuss more, as a clever way to cover up the fact he wasn’t the hugest fan of their arrangement. Everyone missed the bottom end in their performance.

8:54 Nota advances. Along with Face, they were my favorites of the evening so far. Noteworthy is too creepy to send home already. The judges must feel it too. BOOOOO! Voices of Lee advance, sending home Face.

8:57 They give each band a Swan Song when they are voted off. For Face, it’s Daughtry’s “Home.” I no longer feel bad about them going home. Shoulda figured the mostly bald band would pick a bald dude’s song.

9:03 Beelzebubs are explaining “Bub gear” or what they wear on stage. The fact they keep referring to themselves as the Bubs is super annoying. They’re singing “Magical Mystery Tour.” Beatles covers seldom win me over. Their Beatles dancing/face making is hilarious. They even made themselves into a bus. I hope the Beelzebubs advance, if for no other reason than excellent song selection. Though I am not yet ready to call them the Bubs.

9:08 Ben Folds made a fun pocket explosion joke. He should be a judge on every music competition. I think Ben Folds and Nicole S. just almost referenced Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, are you on the bus?

9:15 If you were playing The Sing Off Drinking Game with shots, you’d be on the floor now.

9:16 Maxx Factor are moms that sing barbershop harmonies. They’re a cocky bunch of old broads. The dead dad heart string montage would have more effect if was for a teenager. Not so much a middle-aged woman. This is a terrible barbershop version of “Dancing Queen.” Their feathered hair and bedazzled blazers aren’t enough for these ladies to advance.

9:20 Of course the dude from Boyz II Men has a soft spot in his heart for the Mama’s. Nicole S called them dope. Which sounded almost as funny when a parent calls weed that.

9:27 The SoCals are my “home”town heroes? Can I say that yet? They’re doing Queen’s “Somebody To Love.” Acid reflux disease isn’t a strong sob story, but these guys didn’t mess up Queen too bad.

9:33 The judges mostly enjoyed their performance, but had a few critiques. I like this band for their song selection, and because they’re from where I currently live.

9:40 Solo are basically the plot of Sister Act, minus the nuns. They should have called themselves Dangerous Minds. I would have laughed at that, and it would have made more sense than a band called Solo. They’re performing “Whatcha Say” by Jason DeRulo. I really wanted to like this band, but one girl cackled and they’re overall not great.

9:43 Shawn is playing the you’re already a winner for being here, before he tells them they weren’t that great. It seemed like he didn’t have the heart to tell them. Nicole S actually vocalized the “you’re already winners” sentiment. These guys know Solo isn’t the best there, but don’t want to say it. Side note: mazel tov to Ben Folds for recognizing that people haven’t really heard humans singing on television for a while in music.

9:51 Beelzebubs were the best of this grouping. They’re safe. The SoCals are also safe. The good song choice teams prevail. Maxx Factor advances. Solo…more like so-long.

9:56 Aww. She’s crying and making a horrible crying face. Their Swan Song is “I Will Survive.” As much as you want to like this group, they were the low-point of the evening for both performances.

9:59 Tomorrow night is going to feature several songs on the Festival Crashers’ Catchiest Songs of 2009 bracket.

1 Response

  1. shore Said,

    For the record, I didn’t mean to call Mormon’s a cult. I meant the girls had the same look in their eyes that the girls do on the polygamist reservation in Big Love. It freaks me out.

    Posted on December 15th, 2009 at 4:31 pm

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