Welcome to the 1,000th Festival Crashers post. It’ll be a lot like our 500th post. Wait, you don’t remember our 500th post? Oh, yeah. We never posted it. Hopefully it makes this even more special for you. It’s a best-of. We dug through all our old posts, re-read them and found our favorites for you. It brought back a lot of memories. We didn’t even know what we were going to become when we started.

Our first ever post was a musing by Andy. It’s pretty hilarious to read now: “No, we aren’t going to literally crash festivals and sneak in without tickets or passes. It’s more of a challenge for ourselves. A way to set the bar for our festival participation and provide a view through the looking glass at our musical adventures.” So much for that plan. In the 1,000 posts (and almost 2 years) we’ve been to Langerado, SXSW, Jazz Fest, Lollapalooza (2), Mile High, Bonnaroo (2), ACL (2), Rothbury (2), Pitchfork (2), 10KLF (2), Summer Camp and Fun Fun Fun Fest. It’s been a lot of adventures to say the least.

Do me a favor. Bookmark this page. E-mail it to yourself. Something. You’ll want to come back to this. Unless you’re Sami or Hodge or our parents, odds are you haven’t read all of these. I hope you put in the time reading whatever links draw your interest. OK, enough groveling. Thanks for all your support in the first thousand posts. Here’s to a few thousand more.

Musings

@ZackTeibloom This section has always been a favorite of mine. As Fanfarlo (the band I’m currently obsessed with) says, “We can still afford to not make sense at all.” This is just a spot to babble. And babble we do. I enjoy riffing so much I felt the need to add a line of extra jokes to entice you to read every one of these.

• Was Chasing the Festival Dream Worth It? It took running out of gas, a dead battery, no phone and a flat tire to get perspective on the hole I put myself in.
• Jack White is the best rock star of the 21st Century: Does it surprise you that this is my first musing? I wrote it even before The Dead Weather existed.
• Festival Crashers 2.0 Seeing rock through the eyes of a kid who’s throwing up the rock sign and hearing vinyl for the first time.
• $20 for a horse tattoo?! Some things at a festival just don’t make sense. This still doesn’t.
• Slightly Stoopid comments explode Andy made an innocent comment about Slightly Stoopid. Things got a little out of hand.
• What’s in a band’s name? Tonight: You Will Die after Tremendous *****
• 800 bands better than Aerosmith? Well, there are at least 100!
• Put Your Cell Phone Away at a show! Don’t play me a song over the phone. Don’t think you’re getting a decent pic. That’s a rule.
• You Know How I Know Coldplay isn’t gay? (and the amazing follow-up)
• ADHD in HD This one’s about…look over there a pony!
• Greatest American Bands of All Time Talking Heads or Beach Boys? Jonas Brothers? Made ya look.
• Best album of the ’70s Ezra Furman says Plastic Ono Band. I say potato.
• 90 minute meals Jamaican Jerk Chicken that took longer than most shows. At least I saw a mullet.
• Andy’s 10 greatest singers of all time Too late to nominate “Pants on the Ground” guy?
• Courtney Love is on crack, but so is everyone What happens when you let rock stars write things down.
• Why Andy’s wrong about Dylan I had to defend Bobby D, even if he sounds like he swallowed an animal.
• 10 Reasons Kanye’s a D-Bag I could list 8,000 more. #7,653 He thinks he should be in the bible.
• Grace or no Grace That night I got naked with the sexiest woman in rock … in my mind.
• The Tony The Tiger Theory Debate on whether Tony would play drums or guitar. Either way, he’d be grrrracious to his fans. He wouldn’t be that great.
• Does Kanye get it? (w/ links to all Kanye coverage) Short answer: good god, no.
• Putting a face on Hampton arrests It’s like I spy, but with people who OD a lot.
• Redemption Cheering at Phish Hampton I had to go to the future to tell you what this meant.
• Lolla ‘09 sub-par due to sub-heads If Perry Ferrell ever read this, he’d ban me from Lolla for life.
• Phish line at Bonnaroo- Shark vs. Walrus Inflatable animals were never this entertaining…with your clothes on.
• The spontaneous unstoppable dance party The Sasquatch video wasn’t just a viral video explosion. It’s a lesson for all y’all shy kids. Only YOU can start dance parties.
• 62 songs for my dad on his 62nd Sure I cheated on used up 20 spots on the White Album, but still a ton of memories with my pops.
• A Day in the Life Andy hated that I only wrote one review from 2nd weekend Jazz Fest. Sorry. I was a little pre-occupied with days like this.
• The Bris Mix Feel free to use this when your favorite 8-day old gets the trim.
• Adam Lambert album cover Andy waxes poetic on the ugliest album cover ever.
• Why was Ron Jeremy at Dirty Projectors? #3. He heard the “opening” was called for 9. He made a career of being at openings made for 9. You know you wanna read all five explanations.
• Phish costume ideas Phish’s “costume” was Exile on Main Street. Andy lets you know what your costume should have been for Phish 8. He takes no responsibility if you get your ass beat for being a “Mexican Cousin.”
• It Might Get Loud Changed my Life The movie that made me buy a guitar, play until my fingers bled and fall even deeper in love with Jack White to the point that I started @jackwhitetweets. OK it’s an obsession.
• Shit Show Saturday at ACL I can remember every little detail about “A Day in the Life” This day…not so much.

Crashes

@ZackTeibloom Ahh, my pride and joy. There was a time Andy didn’t even want crashing to be it’s own section on the site, and now it’s one of our most popular. I remember each crash fondly, but sometimes they were so easy I just walked in. These ones were at least a challenge. The times when I dressed up like the artist, gave up my pass for a major festival and was forced to crash, saved up my Stubbs wristbands, made up a story about being on “the recycling team,” created a stamp picture of a skull, was a roadie, and pretended a folded up piece of paper was a concert ticket.

• #24: The Night I was Neiliyo
• #21-22: Sodomy at ACL
• #17: Passion Pit at Emo’s
• #16: TV on the Radio at Stubbs
• #9-#12: Getting away when Caught
• #8: Austin Reggae Festival
• #5: Les Savy Fav and the Pita Pit Stamp
• #4: New Pornographers, Ratatat and Rhymefest
• #2: Dave and the Black Crowes

Contests:

@ZackTeibloom I usually make you write something ridiculous or ask you obscure trivia about us to make sure you’re paying attention and then spend far too much time compiling the best answers. It always leaves me thinking the same thing, “Yupp, these are our readers.” And we love you.

• “Birthday Sex” vs. “We Made You” I didn’t care who won. I just wanted to push buttons with morning after pill talk.
• Catchiest song runner-ups You took the time to enter my contest. The least I could do was make fun of you.
• How well do you know the Festival Crashers Winners You knew more than you should. I think I like it.
• Wildest Things of All: We asked for your wildest festival-going stories. Apparently you thought we said nakedest.
• The Most Inglorious Basterd of All: Iggy Pop or The Sex Pistols. I bet neither would accept the award.
• Jack White Day Winners: Jack White … swoon! You know I run @JackWhiteTweets, right?
• Action Wipes Dirty Contest Winners: Paul- wow. Just wow. This is truly disgusting.

Festivals

@ZackTeibloom As easy as it would be to zone out and just enjoy the festivals, we drag our laptops around with us and report from the fests as they’re going on. Dig it.

• Zack’s Favorite Festival Shows of ‘09
• Andy’s Favorite Festival Shows of ‘09
• We’ve Got Live Gators
• Camp No Underpants
• Rage Against the Machine Tore Down Lollapalooza
• The Foo Fighters at ACL
• The Jesus Lizard Returns @ Pitchfork
• On Stage with the Knux at ACL
• Phish Costume Ideas
• 1,000 dudes just fell in love
• Rage Against the Machine tore down Lollapalooza
• Radiohead at Lollapalooza
• Jeff Tweedy is your daddy
• Kinetix blew the roof of the Our Stage Saloon
• The Flaming Lips are better live than Kanye
• George Clinton sounds like death
• John Mayer a little early at Mile High
• Vampire Weekend at Pitchfork: Did you just boop?
• Public Enemy Fights the Power at Pitchfork
• Dave Matthews Owned Rothbury
• Stevie Wonder at Taste of Chicago
• B.B. King’s Sunset Performance at Blues Fest
• No Love for New Pornographers
• Flaming Lips’ Naked Wildness
• Girl Talk: Amazing “Name That Tune” dance party
• The Long awaited Metallica Bonnaroo review
• The Raconteurs at ACL
• Virgin Mobile Fest Highs and Lows
• Kanye and the best hip-hop show of my life

Reviews

@Andyshore Not only festivals get the Festival Crashers treatment. We’re not working at a concert. We can let loose, have more than a few beers and enjoy some time with friends and family. Once in a while we even get the itch to write an album review. Make that a great while. Here’s some of the best.

• Kiss at the United Center
• Umphrey’s McGee Family Reunion in Austin
• Phish at Toyota Park
• Pearl Jam at the United Center
• Clapton & Winwood at the UC
• The Leaderboard: Zack’s all-time shows
• What I now know about Keane
• 30db at Shuba’s
• So much things to say right now (The Wailers’ Exodus at the HOB)
• Live Forever, Girl Talk (Live at Jake’s in Bloomington 1/16/09)
• Panic at the Disco at the Allstate Arena 10/22/08
• Jamie Lidell at the Metro 10/8/08
• I thought I had seen a rock show, and then I saw Rush
• Girl Talk Feed The Animals in only song titles
• 500 Days of Summer Soundtrack
• Flight of the Conchords Roll Call
• Bang Camaro made my dreams come true
• Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band for $10
• Ezra Furman and the Harpoons as the Plastic Ono Band
• Dave at Alpine
• Zack’s top 10 shows at Lollapalooza
• Cheap Trick plays “That 70’s Show” Theme song?
• Vampire Weekend plays entire catalogue

Features

@ZackTeibloom Sometimes we review a show and it needs special attention. Maybe it’s a summary of a whole festival. Maybe the show was just that good (I’m looking at you, Phoenix and Phish.) Here they are. Posts we featured for a reason.

• Phoenix closes tour emphatically in Austin*
• Who and what I’m thankful for
• First six SXSW bands announced
• Saturday at Fun Fun Fun in pictures
• Fun Fun Fun in a nutshell
• Phish Exile on Main St. at Fest 8
• Festival Crashers do ACL
• Legen…wait for it…dairy day one at ACL
• Phish at Bonnaroo 6/12
• Welcome to Lupepalooza
• The Raconteurs Beatle Moment
• Trey’s Triumphant Return at Rothbury

Interviews

Did we really talk to Jason Segel, Ludacris, Girl Talk, Jack White, Kyle Gass, Rainn Wilson, and, the biggest band in the world, The Kinetix?! Yep. I know you don’t believe we know THE KINETIX, but one time they even had a sandwich with us.

• The Jack White Interview
• Rock Poet Thax Douglas
• Covering Cover bands: I’d Love to Turn You On
• Jason Segel thinks the wedding should be at Bonnaroo
• Paul Rudd used to DJ Bar Mitzvah’s
• Ludacris and Teibs
• Ghostland Observatory: What God Dances to
• Festival Crashers: The Radio interview
• Girl Talk: Sex on Stage
• Girl Talk: Brand New Mash-ups
• Kyle Gass Told Me About His Penis
• Interview with Kinetix at 10klf ‘08
• When Calling your band “Bonerama” backfires
• My Afternoon at Ezra Furmans
• Interview with Easy Star All Star Producer Michael Goldwasser
• Rainn Wilson is The Rocker

Favorite Photos