@ZackTeibloom A band with a song on their new album called “Crash Years” is just begging for a crash, aren’t they? Well, that’s why I’m here. It wasn’t the first time I’ve crashed a New Pornographers show. They weren’t leaving unattended badges at the check-in this time. I had to try a new tactic.
“Woo, Dodos! The New Pornographers suck!” I walked up to Stubbs yelling this, hoping fans of the opening band would reveal themselves on their way out and hand over their red Stubbs wrist bands. I hadn’t seen a red wristband at Stubbs before. In my pocket I had a full double rainbow of wristbands, with an orange, brown, two shades of green, yellow, pink, blue, etc. Apparently my double rainbow wasn’t full, since I had no red.
I did a lap around the perimeter and, I gotta say, Stubbs does a real strong job guarding their exits. An armada of guards at the front, multiple check points at the restaurant entrance, and even the barbed wire fence has a back-up guard. You could attempt to sneak in by the port-o-poty’s where the barbed wire fence needs mending, but that’s just asking to be seen. The bottom line is that you need a wristband, and I didn’t have one, so I had to find someone who did.
I walked up to Stubbs just as The Dodos had finished and saw a guy walking towards his car with a Dodos vinyl. This could be the guy. If you’re going for the trick of getting someone who’s leaving to give you their wristband, look for someone who is:
- Clearly a fan of the opening band as identified through their merch/shirt.
- On a date and has dinner reservations to get to.
- Looks tired/old.
I had found number 1 on the list, but he looked pissed when I asked if he was leaving the show for good. I guess he was just putting his vinyl in his car. Sorry, buddy. Before I could find anyone who fit one of my three criteria, I saw someone I knew was just stepping out for a breather. My wonderful Austin Vinyl photographer Mary was sweating outside the front door after having taken pictures for the Dodos. I noticed she had both a laminated photo pass and a red wrist band. Jackpot.
We agreed that she would easily get back in with her laminate, so we walked away from security to make the wristband exchange. I bought gum on the way to the venue so I could reattach the wristband if it had lost its sticking power. You always want to be the guy with gum anyway, so that’s just good to take w/ you on a crash. I used the entire piece of gum, which was a big mistake. You only need a tiny piece. Otherwise you’ll get gum on your shirt and in your hair when you aren’t paying attention. Just me?
I got up close to take the fuzzy iPhone pic you see above, sang along for opener “Sing me Spanish Techno!” Recorded a bit of video for “Crash Years” and was sad there weren’t more people up front getting into the show. Maybe I was spoiled by the last show I saw there (When LCD tore it down) but it wasn’t the best I’ve seen The New Pornographers or even the best crash, but I learned a few things and it was a solid Friday night. I hope I don’t have to rely on the pass back so much at Lolla, but we’ll see next week, won’t we?