8:06 I have never been the biggest fan of his, but there are few others performers as comfortable in their skin as Big Mike. Maybe because he has so much of it.

8:11 Next week is the music of the Rolling Stones. I’m hoping some of the singer/songwriters pick from Exile on Main St. Someone’s got enough bluesy soul to pull it off.

8:13 Didi Benami and Siobhan Magnus are safe. One of Paige Miles or Katelyn Epperly is going home. Katelyn did not have her best performance this week, but Paige’s was terrible. Can’t believe Paige survived. She’s been consistently terrible. The camera cut to a shocked looking Sioban. She must agree with me. Lilly Scott was brought to tears during Katelyn’s swan song. The masses are asses.

8:23 Of Tim Urban, Todrick Hall, Lee Dewyze and Casey James, Tim should be going home. Instead, he made the top 12 and is joined by Casey and Lee. Todrick is going home after an impressive Queen cover. Some of the female contestants look downright pissed at the eliminations so far. Can’t say I feel any different. Todrick’s swan song was even better than last night. I bet the judges wish they still had a save. Seacrest and Randy were blown away. Crystal Bowersox is crying. If she cares, you know its a big deal.

8:33 Scott McIntyre and Matt Giraud are doing dueling pianos to cover Billy Joel. This is like a poorly matched Grammys duet. Matt Giraud is clearly better. McIntyre just told Seacrest it was good to see him. That made me laugh.

8:42 Crystal Bowersox, Big Mike, Lacey Brown, Aaron Kelly and Andrew Garcia are safe. Alex Lambert does not deserve to go home after that Ray Lamontagne cover last night. What a shame. Maybe everyone else was uncomfortable with a lesbian making banana jokes. Lots of teary eyes from both sides tonight. Alex got a massive group hug from the guys after his swan song.

8:56 Idol returned from the commercial to a disheveled mess of contestants and judges. The group hug was dispersing and included Ellen. Seacrest looks noticeably shaken and called it “the most intense few moments of the show” during the commercial break.

8:57 Lilly Allen is clearly the better than Katie Stevens, but she joins the other worthy contestants on their way home. This season is shlock. There are at least two contestants that aren’t even close to deserving of being in the top 12.

The good:

-Alex Lambert is singing “Trouble.” This might be his best vocal performance to date. His problem is his stage presence. The voting public isn’t going to see how great he is unless he makes them like him. Ellen just told him not to become a cocky banana. Simon suggested he picture Randy in a bikini.

-Tim Urban is singing “Hallelujah.” Unlike the sex scene in the Watchmen, this is an appropriate song choice. He should be singing praises that he’s still here. He actually sounds great. Ellen ran onstage and gave him a hug.

-Big Mike Lynche is singing “This Woman’s Work” by Maxwell. Where did that falsetto come from? I haven’t really like a single performance of his yet. That is until this one. He stopped trying to be anything else than an R&B/Soul singer and it worked. The falsetto bookends were the icing on the cake.

-Todrick Hall is singing “Somebody to Love.” I can respect how difficult this song is to sing. I can’t get all the way through it on Rockband without No Fail Mode. Great performance. He still sounds a lot like John Legend to me, but that was an excellent cover.

-Andrew Garcia is singing “Genie in a Bottle.” The judges have been craving a performance like his Paula Abdul cover since it happened. This is his response. Apparently Andrew’s thing is covering female pop singers. I like his version of this song better, but I’d rather have an attractive girl singing about rubbing the right way.

The bad:

-Two country songs in a row. Aaron Kelly is singing “I’m Already There.” Casey James’ “You’ll Think of Me” was better. Thanks to the DVR, I can skip the rest of Aaron’s performance.

I mulled the lobby looking at signed pictures of comedians who have been there, until the time was right. I easily got past the door guy when he went to escort a group to their seats and found a seat with Chris and a couple friends. I knew they’d come by to check our tickets, but had a plan. Not the most inventive plan, but I’d go to the bathroom when they came by. I figured they’d scoop the tickets and I’d be good to go. I went to the bathroom prematurely to check the route and came back. Our table had a  few tables on either side, so I figured I’d have a heads up when the ticket taker came by to make my move. I figured wrong.

For a reason I can’t figure out, the “security guard” made a beeline to my table. I use quotes, because based on his demeanor and shirt, it was obvious he was a hopeful comedian who had to earn his keep by checking tickets. Anyway, this guy comes up and notices we only have three tickets. I was forced to give an explanation, so I went with “I was here earlier to hold the table and the guy at front took my ticket.” He knew I was lying because no one takes your ticket. It just sits there. Like my lie.

I’ve said this before, but if you’re ever caught in a lie, you move on. Quickly. They know you’re lying and you’re not gonna talk your way out of it. You ideally don’t want to see that person again the rest of your crash so you make a quick escape and avoid eye contact. If I’m gonna get busted, it’s not gonna be by a guy like that* I walked out, but he followed me. I wasn’t running or anything. Just walking away. As I got to the front door, he told the staff “We’ve got a sneaker**”

I stepped into the parking lot to contemplate my options. Normally I’d just walk right back in and avoid that comedian/bouncer, but this place was too well lit, too small and quite frankly I didn’t care that much. I called Andy and told him the streak was over. I tried to justify it. Would I have even written a “Successful Crash #29: Doug Benson” post? Maybe. Maybe not. It’s comedy. I told Andy it was the Olympics of crashing (in that it didn’t count toward my regular season stats) but that’s when I knew it was an official fail. I only make excuses when I know I’m wrong.

I kinda had fun in the parking lot. Andy and I talked for about 40 minutes, brainstorming the SXSW 65 and I watched the most random Tae-Kwon-Do class of all time. Seriously, I think someone said “Go find the 12 most diverse people you can find in terms of age, sex and gender. We shall Tae-Kwon-Do together***!

So, the streak’s over. I can no longer sing “I. Will. Not. Lose. Ever. Put somethin’ on it.” like Jay-Z. There’s a kink in my armor.

Lets put things in perspective:

• Celtics consecutive NBA titles: 8
• Colts regular season win streak: 23
• My undefeated crash streak: 28
• Joe Dimaggio hit streak: 56

Pretty good company. I outdid the Colts, (Sorry, Bryn) but was only half way to DiMaggio. If you’re thinking 28 crashes has nothing on 8 straight titles, well, I agree. I just liked the feeling of having an impressive 8 in there.**** After waiting in the parking lot for an hour, Chris laughed at me and drove me home. What did I do? I “crashed” a bowl of my roommate’s leftover casserole. I needed the rush, but felt compelled to clean the caked-on food from the tray for him. I’m not that much of a dick.

Thankfully SXSW will provide many more opportunities to crash and last time I checked, we have NO passes for any festivals this summer. As long as there aren’t any more damn comedy clubs, this season of crashing looks promising as ever.

*I know. I know. I wanted the clip of Ferris saying that to the camera, but it’s not online. God knows I checked. Though I stumbled on this absolute gem. Seriously, I’ve watched this “He’s Always Abe Froman” song 7 times at least today. Check it out.

**I wanted to yell “I’m a fucking crasher, not a sneaker, you wanna-be comedian!” At least let me go down in glory.

***And by Tae-Kwon-Do, I mean running around in-between cones. Serious WTF.

****Yeah, that’s what she said.

1. Muse-1
2. Spoon -1
3. Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings -1
4. Andrew W.K. -2
5. Broken Bells -2
6. The Black Keys -2
7. Fanfarlo 2
8. Stone Temple Pilots-3
9. Kid Sister & Flosstradamus -3
10. Ben Gibbard 3
11. Ezra Furman & the Harpoons 3
12. Major Lazer-4
13. Toro y Moi -4
14. Lyrics Born -4
15. Ra Ra Riot-4
16. Neon Indian -5
17. Mayer Hawthorne -5
18. The Crystal Method 5
19. Hole-5
20. Nicole Atkins-5
21. Cheap Trick -6
22. The Walkmen -6
23. Japandroids -6
24. Wood Hands-6
25. Deerhunter 7
26. Frightened Rabbit -7
27. Princeton 7
28. The Very Best-7
29. Roky Erickson and Okkervil River-7
30. Steel Train-8
31. The Constellations-8
32. The xx-8
33. Foxy Shazam-8
34. The Sandwitches
35. Ha Ha Tonka
36. Local Natives
37. Sleigh Bells
38. Liars
39. Royal Bangs
40. Dan black
41. Best Coast
42. Warpaint
43. Marina and the Diamonds
44. We Are Scientists
45. Casiokids
46. Rocky Votolato
47. Midlake
48. Freelance Whales
49. Fat Mike (Cokie The Clown)
50. Balmorhea
51. Dan Black
52. We Were Promised Jetpacks
53. Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson
54. Soulico
55. BOH
56. Ruby Suns
57. Phantogram
58. Bear in Heaven
59. Scissor Sisters
60. Harlemves
61. The Drums
62. Surfer Blood
63. The Brunettes
64. Ozomatli
65. Fucked Up
66. Minus the Bear
67. The Yellow Dogs

8:02 Perhaps in an overdone attempt to show they don’t hate one another, Ellen is nuzzling up to Simon during the introductions.

8:03 I’m so used to each contestant being introduced with a montage, that I was taken about when Katie Stevens just started singing. I had to rewind, because I wasn’t even ready. I would have been better off missing it. This is her worst performance to date. She sounds terrible. The other girls should thank her for setting the bar so low.

8:12 Siobhan Magnus is singing “House of the Rising Sun.” I honestly can’t tell you why, but this is one of my favorite songs. I hope she lives up to the hype she created for herself. Singing the first few lines a capella was awesomely haunting. I dug what she did with it. I’ll still take the Animals version, but I’m a Siobhan Magnus fan. Ellen called her performance captivating and moving. Kara said she loved the a capella vibe. I’m so replacing Simon next season.

8:18 Lacey Brown is singing “The Story” by Brandi Carlisle. What a boring performance that was. The judges ripped her for not doing enough with the song last week, but I don’t they meant she should put people to sleep.

8:26 Kately Epperly is tickling the ivories and playing Carole King “I Feel the Earth Move.” What a vanilla cover. She did nothing with that song. She would have been better without the keys. She looks so awkward up there and her vocal performance is suffering because of it. Who says Simon is always negative. He said he liked her hair.

8:36 Didi Benami is singing “Rhiannon.” I’ve always liked her voice, but this is another boring performance. These girl don’t even sound like they want to be here. The judges may appreciate an excellent vocal performance, but the voting public isn’t going to get behind that song.

8:40 Paige Miles is yet to impress me. Tonight she’s singing “Smile” by Charlin Chaplin. Forgive me for being confused, but wasn’t he a SILENT film star? I spaced on her whole performance, just thinking about silent film stars being credited for songs. The judges shredded her.

8:49 Crystal Bowersox is singing “Give Me One Reason” by Tracy Chapman. This competition doesn’t faze her. She does her thing week in and week out. She’s got the right amount of soul, right amout of grit and hits enough of her notes. You know it’s good, when Randy repeats the same words over and over again. That was hot. That was hot. That was hot. I’m a fan. I’m a fan. That was hot.

8:56 Lilly Scott is singing “I Fall to Pieces.” She’s playing the mandolin too. She’s still par for the course. One of the top females, no doubt. She’s been so consistent, she’s gonna need to push herself to stand out.

Top 3: Siobhan Magnus, Crystal Bowersox, Lilly Scott

Bottom 2: Paige Miles, Katie Stevens

If last years are any indication, we’re in for a few huge announcements coming soon. Last year Kanye led a who’s who of his label for a shockingly great show.

Thankfully Fader Fort is free and you don’t need a badge, but make sure you get a Fader wristband. More details on that coming soon. Who are you most excited to see on this list? Who do you hope will take the headliner slots?

Wednesday 3/17

1:30 – Visqueen
2:15 – The Bloodline
3:00 – Chasing Kings
3:00 – Annie Mac (DJ)
3:45 – We Were Promised Jetpacks
4:30 – Free Energy
5:00 -Nguzunguzu (DJ)
5:15 – Ratas Del Vaticano
6:00 – Freelance Whales
6:45 – BRAHMS
7:30 – Special Guests TBA

Thursday 3/18
1:00 Eskimo (DJ)
1:00 CFCF (DJ)
1:30 Yawn
2:15 Everything everything
2:15 Harlem
3:00 Best Coast
3:45 Neon Indian
4:30 Local Natives
5:15 Bomba Estereo
6:00 CHEW LiPS
6:45 Morning Benders
7:30 Special Guests

Friday 3/19
1:00 Cool Places Sound System (DJ)
1:30 Love of Diagrams
3:00 Japandroids
3:00 Tanlines (DJ)
3:45 The Drums
4:30 The Very Best
5:00 Jokers of the Scene (DJ)
5:15 XYX
6:00 Marina & The Diamonds
6:45 Fool’s Gold
7:30 Midnight Madness

Saturday 3/20
1:00 Lemonade (DJ)
1:30 Memory Tapes
2:15 Tamaryn
3:00 Dam-Funk
3:00 Poirier (DJ)
3:45 Salem
4:30 Dum Dum girls
5:15 Chico Mann
6:00 Washed Out
6:45 Real Estate
7:00 A Trak (DJ)
7:30 Special Guests
8:30 Special Guests

8:04 The top 20 are singing “I Gotta Feeling.” That high 5 between Big Mike Lynche, Lee Dewyze and Andrew Garcia was so fake. The Thing would have knocked Lee and Andrew back a mile. The random autotune sounds terrible and Idol should be ashamed of using it.

8:10 Tim Urban will suck for another week. He’s like Robin from the last season of Top Chef. Todrick Hall, Big Mike and Casey James are safe. John Park, from Northbrook, IL, is going home. He’s going back to Northwestern. Double whammy.

8:21 Lee Dewyze, Aaron Kelly, Alex Lambert and Andrew Garcia are safe. Jermaine Sellers is going home. Even the teenage girls voting for American Idol realize you don’t do that to Marvin Gaye.

8:33 I’m not really a country music fan, but I’d still take Danny Gokey over most of the contestants this year. Don’t love the song, but his voice sounds great. He’s good people. I’d root for him all over again.

8:42 Lilly Scott, Paige Miles, Katie Stevens and Didi Benami are safe. Michelle Delamor is going home. That’s what you get for singing Creed. I’m 1 for 1 picking the girls so far. The downside of being right is having to hear Creed again.

8:53 Katelyn Epperly, Crystal Bowersox and Siobhan Magnus are all deservedly safe. It’s down to Haeley Vaughn and Lacey Brown. Can I go 2/2? You can put it on the board…YES! Goodbye Haeley Vaughn. Not even gonna watch her swan song. It’s time for Community and Jim & Pam’s baby.

8:07 Crystal Bowersox was in the hospital and now is on the big stage singing CCR “Long As I Can See The Light.” The Dude abides. What a gutsy performance. At times she sounds like she can’t hear herself, but even those times she makes it sound ok. Her voices stands out among the girls and the guys. Randy, Ellen and Kara are all blown away. She made Simon say “misunderestimated.”

8:16 Haeley Vaughn is singing Miley Cyrus “The Climb.” This girl is terrible. She has got to go. Randy called it excruciating. He also called Haeley and Ellen “man,” so take that for what it’s worth. Simon said there’s a certain irony in singing a song about climbing, because she fell off. He beat me to the song title pun.

8:27 Lacey Brown is singing “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None the Richer. What up 1997! Otherwise known as the year I became a man in the eyes of my religion. I’d champagne snowball with Lacey after that performance. Better than last week. Kara just said “happy smiley people.”

8:39 Katie Stevens is singing “Put Your Records On.” I think she’s pretty good, but the judges aren’t buying it

8:55 Didi Benami is singing Bill Withers “Lean on Me.” I think she’s awesome. I really dig her voice. She doesn’t hit many big notes, but what she does in her register is great. The judges don’t agree.

9:04 Michelle Delamor is singing Creed “With Arms Wide Open.” I don’t think there is any way I will like this song. It’s more fun to do Scott Stapp impressions than it is to listen to Creed covers. Split decision from the judges.

9:10 Seacrest is on a first name basis with Vera Wang, but don’t you kinda have to be?

9:14 Lilly Scott is singing “A Change Is Gonna Come.” Sam Cooke is one of the most iconic voices of all time. I’ve like most everything she has done to this point, but I’m not confident in this song choice. Strumming the 12-string, she sounds as good as ever. It’s not the major vocal performance that Cooke puts on, but it’s a good cover. Kara said she was riveted.

9:27 Katelyn Epperly is singing Coldplay “The Scientist.” She’s tickling the ivories tonight too. She sounds better than she ever has, but she still doesn’t stand out. Her performances don’t wow. She went for the big finish and fell way flat.

9:38 Paige Miles is singing Kelly Clarkson “Walk Away.” She sounds better than last week, but she’s still not my favorite. The judges see more in her than I do.

9:50 Siobhan Magnus is singing Aretha Franklin “Think.” I thought Lilly Scott would take on the biggest voice of the night, but Aretha takes the cake. Wow. She’s hitting Aretha’s deeper notes and isn’t getting pitchy when she goes high either. She’s nailing the big notes too. Best performance of the night.

Top 2. Siobhan Magnus, Crystal Bowersox

Bottom 2: Haeley Vaughn, Katelyn Epperly

8:04 Ellen took the live opportunity of Seacrest asking if she ever missed a show to discuss missing American Gladiators after it left the air.

8:06 Big Mike Lynche is curling Aaron Kelly and said he can Bench 3-4 Seacrest’s depending on the suit he’s wearing. He’s singing “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World.” I barely liked Seal’s cover, and Big Mike never stood a chance. Despite being a gigantor of a human being, he does not have a big enough voice to cover this song. That being said, this is actually his best performance to date. The judges loved it. I think he set the bar low for himself, to make his decent performances sound better.

8:17 John Park was terrible last week. Bad song choice, bad performance. He’s off to a better start with his song choice alone. “Gravity” should be more in his wheel house. He sounds much better than last week, but his vocal runs are not spectacular. His big notes didn’t blow me away. The judges all agree. Better performance, but no soul.

8:30 Casey James looks like he’s wearing a garbage bag. He’s manning the electric guitar and singing Gavin Degraw’s “I Don’t Wanna Be.” His voice was good, but the guitar was better. I actually think it was worse than last week. Just not as unique of a performance. Tonight he was every guy. Kara called him a great lead guitar player. Simon agrees with me.

8:40 Alex Lambert is dressed like an extra from Animal House. He’s singing John Legend “Everybody Knows” and playing an acoustic. He’s better than last week, but I still think Bluto would smash his guitar.

8:53 Todrick Hall is singing Tina Turner “What’s Love Got To Do With It.” Was this make outfits from what you find in the kitchen night? He’s got the aluminum foil blazer going on. The judges see more in him than he’s offering up and are not pleased.

9:06 Jermaine Sellers is singing “What’s Going On.” He’s cornballing this one a bit too much, and you don’t do that to Marvin Gaye. He’s not worried. Jesus is his homeboy.

9:17 Andrew Garcia is a break dancer. Who knew? Tonight he’s singing James Morrison “You Give Me Something.” He sounds much better than last week. This song suits his voice so much better. There’s a bit of soul, and a bit of grit to it tonight. Unlike Big Mike, Andrew Garcia set the bar too high for himself with that Paula Abdul cover. His good performances aren’t good enough for them anymore.

9:30 Aaron Kelly is singing “My Girl.” He better have some more confidence tonight, because you need some cojones to sing the Temptations. That was not very good. Pitchy and rough.

9:40 Tim Urban is singing “C’mon Get Higher.” He’s not very good, yet he keeps passing more talented contestants.

9:5 Lee Dewyze is singing “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder. Tonight he sounds more like a rock singer than Chad Kroeger dropping a deuce. The best performance of the night. No doubt. Simon thinks he may be the one to beat. Can’t disagree after that showing.

Top 2: Lee Dewyze and Casey James’s guitar playing

Bottom 2: Aaron Kelly and Tim Urban

It turned out we were both Reggie, Spike Lee was too busy brown nosing Kobe and Cactus Cafe is nothing like MSG. Before I lose you on this sports metaphor, I’ll just tell it like it happened. Cactus Cafe is a 150 person theater in UT’s student union in a room that made me feel like I was right back at IU.

I did the old G.T.T.F.V. (Go to the fucking venue) move to see what the security layout was. We were dealing with one Indian woman taking tickets and stamping hands at the door with no back-up. I found a chair in the union, 15 feet from the door, that allowed me to see how the line was moving, where her attention was and tie my shoe. I didn’t have my stamp with me, but I felt I wouldn’t need it. Thankfully the bar is right next to the door and if I could cross that threshold, there would be no one  there to stop me. The guard got distracted for a minute and stood up and I just waltzed right passed her and never looked back.

It most reminded me of the Flight of the Conchords crash in that it was another student building at UT and I just walked right passed the ticket taker with no real plan other than being ballsy. It’s that easy. Bryn did the same move five minutes later and we found ourselves 12 feet from Gene Ween and an acoustic guitar. It’s always that easy.

OK, not always. Friday night presented a challenge. I was waiting for Bryn to get off work, but he was too tired and I had to go it alone. Since I’d waited for him, I missed the big rush of attendees and the door was now closed with absolutely no one to distract the guard.

Thankfully, I brought my stamp with me. I vaguely remembered what the stamp pattern was, but honestly I just blindly stamped my right hand about 40 times in a random pattern with a Pita Pit stamp that is running drastically low on ink. It was barely visible at all. I held my hand up to the guard and told him “I’ve been in already” and he said “hold on, that’s not dark enough.” My heart went into my throat. Was I caught? Was my record about to run to 27-1? Then he said, “You know what, let me re-stamp that for you so no one gives you a hard time if you come in and out again.” Yeah, that just happened. This is getting way too easy.